Tuesday, December 09, 2008

50% of final exams...

it has not been an easy journey to today...
we've had 3 episodes of 8 weeks of postings then end of block exams for obs and gynae, then paeds, then psych. seniors have told us before that the POP exams in 4th year were the toughest to survive. i used to doubt that, i mean, can it seriously be worse than the absolute final exams?
what i didn't know was that since we had a BAO in addition to our MBBCh, it made up a quarter of our exam marks. then another quarter was shared by psych and paeds. while med and surgery made up the remaining 50%. essentially, 6 months from my graduation, i would sit for exams that would determine 50% of my graduating grade!

it was difficult to shift gear from women and babies, to children (their mini-human sizes belied the amount of material of stuff that could go wrong with them! from infants to toddlers, to even teenagers, every aspect!) and my final posting was Psychiatry (never could i fathom the real power of the human mind. speaking to those patients, it was pretty overwhelming, not only what was wrong with them, but more their conviction. and the more time one spends talking to them, one can't help but pity them cause if i had that kind of fixed beliefs, or if you were to see certains things, that won't go away no matter what, i'd be reacting much worse than them!

my end of block exams involved a manic patient(their mood is totally opposite to what you'd expect a depressed patient to feel)... he kept saying he wanted to marry me and kissed my hand when i thanked him after that. it's not an uncommon thing, it's quite an ego boost actually.. eheh in a distorted way. but i find that it's more scary to face the wolf whistles of guys that you see (and try to ignore) by the sidewalks of shops, on the way to any kedai runcit, or at shopping mall entrances. why?
well, the patients at the ward have a diagnosis, and they are being treated, regardless of their compliance. while these maniacs are running loose, possibly maybe even probably with a mental disease of their own, in contact with people everyday...
furthermore, if anyone were to flip thru a psychiatry book, i'm pretty sure you'd find one or two disorders that you might suspect you have... the difference being whether it affects our lives adversely. some ppl live to ripe old ages with everyone seeing things in their personality that is sooooo wrong, yet they are scot free... quite an intriguing subject, but gosh, after clerking and speaking to one or two patients, my mind is too tired to do anything for the rest of the day!

as if shifting gear from one rotation to another wasn't hard enough, we had an exam schedule that went something like this:
paeds--> psych--> paeds --> obgyn --> psych --> obgyn
then initially it was supposed to start on monday, dec 1, they stole my one weekend and brought it forward to the thursday before that!!
i had a very rough start to the exam... but it ended well... 70% thru the exams, i started drinking essence of chicken, and i really regret not drinking it right from the start...
i was most afraid of my very final paper- OBGYN clinical long case, it made up 50% of the entire exam, which, once u do the math, is exactly what the entire paediatrics or psych was worth!!
to make matters worse, we had two options of either being sent to the Penang maternity hospital 5 mins from my house, or the mainland hospital, half an hour away! yes, i got the mainland one!
but when we went there, the nurses helped us initially by telling if we were getting either an OBS or gynae case. i had gynae. then in the waiting room, let's just say, we had an idea of our case! in the clerking room itself (we chatted and examined the patient for 30 mins, was question for another 20), it was airconditioned, and i practically had my own consultation room all to myself! i completed the history taking in 15 mins, and used the remaining time to tidy it up.
Initially i was supposed to be examined by Dr Kieran, an internal lecturer of PMC who said he was going to pass EVERY candidate he examined. :-) so i was relaxed. but they brought me to a White external examiner with our dear Dr Bala from SJH. :-) i actually had fun during the exam... :-) the white examiner, after asking me basic questions, looked like he was having fun posing questions, which according to him were honours questions, which, i didn't manage to answer! :-)
dr bala kept trying to cheekily mouth the answer to me. but it ended with him saying i did well, and he told me to go HAVE FUN!!

so that's what i'll be doing.. more posts and photos to follow!!!
thank you Jesus!!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

my favourite songs...

American Idol

i had so much fun following American Idol this year... David archuleta was my absolute favourite. he was so angelic and so humble... he looked so traumatised whenever the judges commented that it seemed like he was bowed and knelt down in prayer before each performance... how can one not find him adorable? :-)
but david cook was really really good... so as has been said many many times, it really truly didnt matter who won!

so my favourite songs:
in no particular order...

Bubbly by Colbie Cailat
Hello and BIllie Jean by David Cook
I am i said by Brooke White
Love Story by Katherine Mc Phee
Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
Pocketful of SUnshine by Natasha Bedingfield (it was so cute when she asked to kiss my david!)
One Rock and Roll too many by Syesha Mercato
Our Song & Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift
Apologize by One Republic
and this really really nice though not so popular one.. i heard it on 'Cashmere Mafia' (i really liked this show, but sadly they cancelled it... )
All Eyes on Me by Le Toya (a former member of Destiny's Child)


class has started for a few weeks.. and here's the thing... i'm the kinda person that if i have a list of 10 chores to do, i'll rush around finishing it as fast as i can because i really really value my de-stress, relax, me-time... time-efficient for those with half full cups and lazy hehe for those who hate me.
but anyways, ever since my school days, i've discovered i really dont fancy standing around whiling away time doing nothing. so if i need to learn something at the hospital, i rather my time be filled to the brim, than stand around for the same amount of time.
as such, my classmates in school, college, even now, hardly see me around nearing exams, cause i optimise my time better studying at home.. and time and again it's served me well. but this new rotation requires us to collect signatures to show we've attended teachings in the morning, lectures, tutorials... everything. while it's pretty much like a normal day for my distinguished colleagues, it comes as a shock to me.
now i worry about preparing for my end of posting exams... i wonder how im gonna wriggle my way thru THIS obstacle...
i havent even been home for 3 weekends... and that's loooooooooong for me...

JPA results
it's been almost 6-7 years since i got my scholarship letter and i can still remember how hopeful i was prior to that, sometimes not even daring to hope. but back then, it wasnt as difficult as it is now. firstly there weren't so many straight A1 scorers, secondlythe previous year had somewhat set precedence that all we needed to do was settle our results, then it was a given. so much so that some of the ppl i eventually met felt that they deserved the scholarship, almost to the point that it was a right they earned. i really disagree with this. they moan and groan abt malay rights. but here's the way i think. it's a Constitutional right however long they have decided to extend it, for them to be given a boost. we can choose to either whine and grumble about it, or acknowledge that the journey to a change is long, winding and not really within our grasp to achieve in the near future. i am lucky to have scored well enough to be given a scholarship, so maybe thats why i dont feel as bitter. but to me, the government is kind enough to actually allocate some quota for us non-Malays, who if not for the Constitution, don't really belong here as citizens, birth rights aside. we have opportunities, albeit on a smaller scale. but this opportunity afforded to us, to succeed, albeit we need to wrestle our way to the top, is a blessing. and it will build our character for the real world next time...
but it saddens me nonetheless when i see ppl who secure straight A1s but it's such a novelty that even that isn't enough anymore... my heart goes out to these ppl, but i don't think the PSD is to be blamed... resources are scarce, demand is overwhelming...

Lack of resources
newspapers highlight how scarce our food supply is at the moment, and i think with the global warming that's been around for a few years, it's something that we've kinda known was just waiting to lift the knocker on our door. it's quite scary actually. but i have faith in the abilities of mankind. there are highly intelligent individuals amongst us and i think that's been proven by how we, as a race have overcome many many obstacles with many breakthrough ideas over the past centuries. i have faith we'll come through this too... "this too will pass..."

Final Med
my seniors are facing their impending final exams that will give them the final push into the working world as doctors. and im pretty anxious too... i keep asking them if it's difficult, just how difficult it is... because, this time next year, it'll be my turn!! will be praying for them... really cant imagine what it must feel like...

okie i better get running... my internet isnt the fastest in the world which makes uploading photos very much a nuisance... so i dont even bother taking photos... hopefully when i get back home for christmas this year, or on the 14th of july when im back for a week's holiday!

Friday, April 11, 2008

my birthday, american idol, and INDIA!!

my birthday was last monday, and while i wanted a very very relaxed day of sleeping in, i shuddered at what was in store for me, cause the friday before that i had decided to fly to india to visit my darling sister. my passport had expired in Feb and i had not realised cause i guess i have no reason to fly overseas, or so i thought... :-)

the ppl at the Immigration Department were amazingly nice. my passport and ic did not match so i couldn't use the kiosk to renew my passport, cause of the discrepancy between 'sarah jane' and 'sarah-jane'. but even having to apply manually, it took me all of 3 hours to have my new passport in hand! hehe complete with a much much more glamorous photo, than the convict whose face i had on my former passport! so that cost me rm 300

next we shot off to the Indian Visa place. it was so so so so convenient to apply and after i filled in the form with two passport size photos, i had to wait two minutes before being attended to! since i applied before 1 pm, my visa was ready for collection the very next day at 4.30 pm! that cost RM 160 for a standard 6 mth visa.

the ticket was rm 1753. and within two days i was ready to jet off to india. gracie booked my internal flight from bangalore to mangalore for approximately rm 600, and that was the bulk of my expenses for the trip!
setting off this evening at around 6 pm for a 10 pm flight. and im so excited!

My 24th Birthday
on sunday night, the night before my birthday, my Mummy treated us all to an elaborate dinner at this place we label Coconut Tree. it's been quite long since we've been there, but the food's gotten better! we ate shark's fin soup, a fish, one type of soup, spare ribs, spring onion pork, mixed vege, and this amazing dish of steamed tofu. and for 6 ppl, it amounted to 120 bucks... oh i really really enjoyed myself.
later, we headed for alpha angle, where my mother got a small cake for me to cut later that night. hehe
June and my baby brother bought this amazing amazing pair of white sandals for me. dan and june, if ur reading this, i'm gonna put off wearing those gorgeous pair of sandals for a little while, but it's in no way an indication of my not liking it ok... au contraire, i absolutely love them!
my birthday proper, after the stint for my indian trip, i reached home in time for my 3 pm soap opera. that night my parents brought me out for some simple dinner. ppl who mean a lot of me remembered, and each message that came in, or call as in nal's case, meant so much to me, cause quite frankly i'm horrible at keeping in touch with friends... so thank you everyone who made my day so so special...

will be updating hopefully with photos from india. i actually have photos from my christmas holiday and from when gracie went to penang to visit me, but with the exams in feb and march, it's been kinda too far back in my mind. plus the menara kuda lari maxis broadband is so not trustworthy to upload photos. but i'll definitely post up indian photos!

have been following american idol pretty religiously... it's so exciting and i thrive on things to look forward to, like my daily soap opera, and weekly american idol. so far, Carly and the two davids are my favourites. i really dont like syesha and brooke and the guy who sang somewhere over the rainbow this week... hehe
ok toodles for now!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Since the end of the Christmas holidays, i was whisked off to Kerian (which totally destroyed me, luckily for his being there, and driving me home when i needed to be home...)and i came home every weekend, then Chinese New Year came and brought with it a month of 4 barring exams and A WHOLE LOT of mugging. I've had to let myself go, or so i tell myself so i've eaten and munched and snacked so much resulting in a relapse of my gastritis, a weight gain of 2-3 kgs and a gain of 1.5 inches around my waist. i'm feeling very depressed and have so low self esteem. i don't wanna see ppl.

But the month long slavery to my books, worry, the gastritis, the munching and eating, the weight gain were all worth it. PMC posted up our results today...
I was called for Legal Medicine orals which i passed up, so i knew it was a 2nd class for that, but the rest... well i told Alex i dont like ppl to know my results, but i think nobody comes here anymore, so... beyond my expectations and also beyond what i know i deserve... God has indeed worked his miracles again... The wonders of what faith can do...

Now i know it was worth it... But i'd still like to lose that 3 kgs i gained...

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

so, i was told i'm fat...

my brother's gf promoted a gym VIP pass at True Fitness for a month and i decided to check it out today... so after electives at HKL in the morning, i rushed home to collect my sneakers (yes, i have a pair of sneakers! :-) Mummy bought them so i could follow her on her evening walks, although we've only been for a handful of times..) and we set off for pavilion!

upon reaching, this sales promoter called Nicole brought us to the lowermost floor of their 3 floors of grandeur and took us on a tour of the place. She told us it'd only take 30 mins, but she walked soooooooo slowly and spoke so slowly, asking abt us and telling us abt herself (like how she studied in china and stays in wangsa maju, and how she takes the lrt to work everyday.. etc etc).. but the place is amazing, each treadmill comes with a touch screen monitor that doubles as a tv, we can select from channel V, rtm 1, star movies, espn and one more channel. or plug in your usb drive. the bathrooms were amazing, and the multitude of gadgets and personal fitness trainers were overwhelming.

then... tam tam tam...
she brought us to the fitness trainer to measure my body fat. they used this gadget to measure my fat folds of my biceps, triceps, over my scapula and my abdomen. there were 5 levels i think 1 was excellent, can't recall 2, 3 was ok, 4 was fair and 5 was obese. he'd key in your age, and boom a number will come out to correspond with the levels. i was a level 4, almost a level 5. that means i was bordering on obese!!

while i know i have let myself go, not worried abt what i eat, i've jsut eaten whatever i wanted even roast pork dripped in oil, and 300g steamed peanuts daily for 3 days straight, buffets and i havent exercised since november... but to tel my i'm bordering on obese is a tad too much, i think. i guess they have a higher standard of health, one that is undoubtedly admirable, but one that i deem too unrealistic for me.
i wonder how ppl who go to gyms daily do it...

at the end of it, nicole made us wait another half an hour for her to process our application. i planned to be done with my workout and bath in one hour, i.e. to leave pavilion at 1 but i only mamanged to reach home at 3...

but wow... i'm actually fat...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

things finally get hectic and i don't see it getting easier any time soon...

oh gosh, it's been months and months since i've last posted a blog...

if you're wondering why the word 'finally', well medical school in RCSI has been somewhat pleasant... they taught us what we needed to know and then we were examined... but here, it's two weeks of ophthal back in august, then a barring mcq paper and a barring 40 min clinical exam in which they take 10 mins to ask us anything they want.. and it's barring!! after two weeks a really long time ago!!!

well after november, we had to deal with the end of the year medicine OSCE (which was hellish, the poked, probed and proded even without provocation, some held grudges against us just because we weren't able to make it to her 11 am class when it was supposed to be originally at 12, and she told us it was brought forward at 10.30, and it was a week before the exams... and medicine is never easy anyway...) and also the mcq papers for both medicine and surgery.. i was so delighted and i truly surprised myself with my results this time, probably my best in med school! :-) so i enjoyed christmas with my baby sister who came back from india. back when we were growing up, our relationship went through many phases, she went from being my very best friend to being someone i hardly knew, when she first started getting boyfriends, that was my awkward fat, ugly phase in life (i think andrew nicknamed me bulldozer once, and boy did it hurt... ).. but now my sister's the best friend and closest friend and also the person who knows me best... we gossip and bitch like we can do with no other! gracie came to penang to spend about a week with me, and i've never felt more comfortable with anyone being in my room before. probably cause we're so alike, so in tune.. i love you so much gracie!!!

then before i could properly sink into the holidays, and after i gained 2-3 kgs from all grandma's roast pork, mummy's roast chicken twice in 3 days, the heavenly divine Jogoya buffet (this is the very best most worth it most delicious buffet spread ever! and we eat at buffets quite often.. but to give you a general idea, there were three ice cream freezers one with baskin robbins, one with Movenpick from Marche and another normal brand, there were more than 10 types of tea!
oh just finished telling ei leen everything, so go ask her la.. hehe

anyways. point form updates...
1. my gastritis seems to have cleared up, thank God.. :-) there was an episode during the exams, but thankfully i think it's settled..
2. i'm actually waiting for the viva list to be posted...
3. i'm abt to start a 6 week elective posting with KL general hospital! how fun is that? after which there's a grueling 6 weeks of Obs and gynae, six weeks of paeds and six weeks of psychiatry then exams!! so im gonna really really enjoy my 6 weeks of not studying or rather of not being guilty for not studying.. :-)
4. my birthday is coming up!
5. i have been on a fast from facebook and friendster, for the prayer, almsgiving and fasting for Lent and come this sunday, it'd be 40 days! it was quite timely too, cause i needed to get rid of distractions to be able to study.. :-)
ok.. tired dee... hehe will try to take photos these 6 weeks and revive my blog with more life too! and colours!!