Saturday, February 03, 2007

battle of emotions...

i wish i could blog more. thing is, either i blog about everything, and all the time, or only abt the odd interesting event, occasionally...

in less than two weeks, i'm headed back. for good. no more cosy little apartment, no more short sunday masses, no more tea at Dome, no more Moore street, no more Stephen's Green.
but i'm crazy excited to be headed home, the place i've missed for most of the past two months.
and frankly, im sooooooo exhausted to having to responsible over every little detail of my life. ever since my exam ended, i've had sleepless nights wondering about settling my apartment, getting my return ticket, closing bank accounts, getting my shopping done, packing and hoping i dont exceed the weight limit, and trying to squeeze re-experiencing everything i feel im going to miss here in dublin. i'm a huge worry-wort, i never knew it was this bad. money becomes so precious when i have to count and keep track of everything. it's at times like this that i wish i had a boyfriend who could and would handle everything for me! (this comment would probably be my downfall and would lead to my failure to ever avail of a boyfriend! hehe so next time i whine abt being single, refer me to this post k?

i had lunch with Sze-Ann and Cynthia today(really going to miss them both.they've really been indispensable support esp during exams. save for my mummy's voice, seniors who truly understand what im experiencing cause they've been thru it themselves, and in combo with prayers, is the perfect remedy for panic attacks!).
met up with Naren and Shanthiny before they left for their hols. Have only managed one outing with Kenneth. Supposed to meet up with PoiLeng, Thanesh, Lorraine,Sharon,Nabil&Tika, JunMay WanJean DarVin co when they get back from their hols too. there's so little time, and so many ppl im gonna regret not meeting up with if i dont.

i dreamt of school today. i rmbr counting my lucky stars every morning. seeing my friends in school used to motivate me to go to school, and it really made waking up so much easier! it amazed me how almost all the ppl who make up my entire universe could be found in one location. we were all contained in this small area. how easy things were. everyone was there. then during SPM. when the exams commenced, i used to pause in awe and amazement that at that exact moment, thousands of ppl my age all over malaysia were all sitting at desks, about to start the exact same exam! it made the battle less menacing knowing we were all united in that fight.

NOW, everyone's scattered everywhere, like there was an explosion and the wind blast blew everyone everywhere, some burrowed into the smallest and most isolated nooks and cranies in the world. it's like my heart has been torn to pieces and the pieces traced my ppl who have crossed paths with me in my life.
i so wanted to visit London one last time, see my best friend. cause the next time i return, i'd probably be an old hag, wishing i visited London in my prime so i can wear nice boots and take nice pictures by the famous landmarks. instead my wrinkly face would so spoil photos of London!

Gracie's grand ball's coming up. she's gonna wear an Irish import dress! courtesy of her sister who loves her so mch that she sacrificed her very very very nice dress and walked all the way to the post office to post it k... hehe
Ganesh texted and he's in Australia. i added Shen-Han's blog to my links (btw shen-han, it makes me feel sooooooo tiny to see my name amongst the Cambridge greats la... hehe )and Jarod secured a job at Maxis.(congrats, dear. really am proud of u)
going to spring clean my apartment now, the landlady's coming tmrw.
in relation to it, though probably not apparent, i really wanna read Law, that way even the mere existence of such a qualification would intimidate and deter ppl from conning me!

1 comment:

Shen-Han said...

Cambridge 'greats'? ahahahahahah

We're normal human beings too. :P Evidence: yours truly. *grins*

Only thing is that the uni works us like crazy. Really crazy. But you get used to it. 'Numbed' would be a more appropriate word.

Happy going back to Malaysia!!