instead of facebooking...

there are many moments in life, when i'd stop and think of a nice way to publish it as my facebook status... but i'd stop myself and say 'who cares... like really who really cares..."
then i remember my blog...

:-) so i'm back...
things in the last two wks have really stressed me out so badly... a big bullying MO who really just fancies himself... colleagues who are so demanding, who actually wont really bother me, but now that i'm HO rep, it has become my problem... work... and of course to top it off, the ultimate envy...

i envy a lot of ppl for the way their life unfolded... i try to tell myself to be thankful for what i have... but honestly, i think anyone in my shoes would feel the same way... i see ppl find love and set off to a gorgeous land far far away to seek their fortune, sow seeds for a bountiful future harvest, and to try their luck at happiness together... and i can't help but envy them...
i am stuck in Klang, away from my home, my family... the boy is even further away... and i can't say i'm enjoying work... some superiors are encouraging, but some just make you wanna throw in the towel and walk off. and yet, i'm supposed to be thankful?how?

i tell myself this is what i've always prayer to God to please it be His will too..for me to be a doctor whose noble profession 'helps others'... yet this job is chipping away at my compassion, some days at an alarming rate that i feel inhumane.

i fear i've journeyed too far away from knowing who i am, what i want, and just what i am about. and envy is such a simple, easy emotion to indulge in...