there are many moments in life, when i'd stop and think of a nice way to publish it as my facebook status... but i'd stop myself and say 'who cares... like really who really cares..."
then i remember my blog...
:-) so i'm back...
things in the last two wks have really stressed me out so badly... a big bullying MO who really just fancies himself... colleagues who are so demanding, who actually wont really bother me, but now that i'm HO rep, it has become my problem... work... and of course to top it off, the ultimate envy...
i envy a lot of ppl for the way their life unfolded... i try to tell myself to be thankful for what i have... but honestly, i think anyone in my shoes would feel the same way... i see ppl find love and set off to a gorgeous land far far away to seek their fortune, sow seeds for a bountiful future harvest, and to try their luck at happiness together... and i can't help but envy them...
i am stuck in Klang, away from my home, my family... the boy is even further away... and i can't say i'm enjoying work... some superiors are encouraging, but some just make you wanna throw in the towel and walk off. and yet, i'm supposed to be thankful?how?
i tell myself this is what i've always prayer to God to please it be His will too..for me to be a doctor whose noble profession 'helps others'... yet this job is chipping away at my compassion, some days at an alarming rate that i feel inhumane.
i fear i've journeyed too far away from knowing who i am, what i want, and just what i am about. and envy is such a simple, easy emotion to indulge in...
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
20th april
next month, would be the last forthnight of my medical posting (provided i dont do anything stupid to get extended)... and i'm gonna be take 7 days leave! though my dept only allows a max of 3 days at one go...:-) really looking forward to it, since the start of my medical posting i've gone to work the latest 6.50am for the past 3+ months, except for ONE miserable monday that i took off!
but the bf needs to ruin it. it isn't my fault that im only allowed a max of 3 days at one go. it isnt my fault that i don't get weekends off like HOs is taiping hospital. we're already in a LDR. that's something i don't believe in, yet i find myself in one...
today was really tiring... tilaga and i wanted a relaxed cubicle. i had just finished hectic g3 where i looked after 6-8 nephro patients and 9-10 dengue patients, clerk new dengue cases, do TDS reviews, run and set lines for other ppl's patients... then i came back to 7b only to take Acute cubicle... this time we took the first cubicle.. :-) but we had to retake a few patients' blood, then i get called to follow rounds in Acute cause the houseman in charge went missing... the specialist actually said 'thank you sarah' after that, so i felt extra gracious and took the ABG an bloods for one patient after getting an urgent USG doppler for that patient. my own cubicle's rounds ended at one... rushed to take bloods, fill in consent forms, OT lists, then rush for lunch (rather two rolls of mentos and a glass of iced tea!). only to get called by the ward, that a nephro MO wanted me to trace the results of a nephro patient who was admitted at 10am. thankfully i had already traced it. got consent for IJC insertion from her, before being called to the INR clinic, cause i've done it previously, i drag nora with me. and that finishes at 4. i had 4 discharges, and tila helped me settle their prescriptions but the summaries were still mine. i settled that, and then two news cases came in at around 5.20 and as everyone else disappeared or hid in the corner, doing discharges, i had to clerk them both! i left at 6.10. oh and i wanted a relaxing week...
but the bf needs to ruin it. it isn't my fault that im only allowed a max of 3 days at one go. it isnt my fault that i don't get weekends off like HOs is taiping hospital. we're already in a LDR. that's something i don't believe in, yet i find myself in one...
today was really tiring... tilaga and i wanted a relaxed cubicle. i had just finished hectic g3 where i looked after 6-8 nephro patients and 9-10 dengue patients, clerk new dengue cases, do TDS reviews, run and set lines for other ppl's patients... then i came back to 7b only to take Acute cubicle... this time we took the first cubicle.. :-) but we had to retake a few patients' blood, then i get called to follow rounds in Acute cause the houseman in charge went missing... the specialist actually said 'thank you sarah' after that, so i felt extra gracious and took the ABG an bloods for one patient after getting an urgent USG doppler for that patient. my own cubicle's rounds ended at one... rushed to take bloods, fill in consent forms, OT lists, then rush for lunch (rather two rolls of mentos and a glass of iced tea!). only to get called by the ward, that a nephro MO wanted me to trace the results of a nephro patient who was admitted at 10am. thankfully i had already traced it. got consent for IJC insertion from her, before being called to the INR clinic, cause i've done it previously, i drag nora with me. and that finishes at 4. i had 4 discharges, and tila helped me settle their prescriptions but the summaries were still mine. i settled that, and then two news cases came in at around 5.20 and as everyone else disappeared or hid in the corner, doing discharges, i had to clerk them both! i left at 6.10. oh and i wanted a relaxing week...
let's bring some life back to this blog...
ok, so it has been ages...
i've started working life for 6 months and in that span of time, i've:
a. met a nasty accident on the MRRR involving a post call HO who fell asleep on the wheel, a huge truck, 20 stitches and scars that are gonna last a lifetime
b. i've done the dreaded calls but seriously believe i age 5 years with each call i do, esp in medical. an again, there are scars that are gonna last a lifetime
c. have put on 3 kgs since med school, so clothes don't fit as well, but at the end of the each day, food is how i drown my sorrow...
d. have met a whole bunch of new people, many in here as comrades (friends for a REASON: we need to get thru HOship, or perhaps SEASON, my friends in Medical differ from those in Paeds, but i really dunno if any are gonna last a lifetime
e. lives alone in Klang, to be able to have time to sleep, but is really losing out on life...
I've completed my first posting in Paeds, and currently have less than a month left to go in Medical... :-) so how that's that.
so how have u been?
i've started working life for 6 months and in that span of time, i've:
a. met a nasty accident on the MRRR involving a post call HO who fell asleep on the wheel, a huge truck, 20 stitches and scars that are gonna last a lifetime
b. i've done the dreaded calls but seriously believe i age 5 years with each call i do, esp in medical. an again, there are scars that are gonna last a lifetime
c. have put on 3 kgs since med school, so clothes don't fit as well, but at the end of the each day, food is how i drown my sorrow...
d. have met a whole bunch of new people, many in here as comrades (friends for a REASON: we need to get thru HOship, or perhaps SEASON, my friends in Medical differ from those in Paeds, but i really dunno if any are gonna last a lifetime
e. lives alone in Klang, to be able to have time to sleep, but is really losing out on life...
I've completed my first posting in Paeds, and currently have less than a month left to go in Medical... :-) so how that's that.
so how have u been?
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