Saturday, March 25, 2006

i love everything Disney!!!


every year, my sister's birthday comes on March 18th and then i'll start the countdown for my own birthday and for about three weeks, we'd be the same age! :-) (always feel an extra special closeness fo gracie around this time of the year).
so since today's the 25th, i've been anticipating my birthday for quite a few days already, i'd whine about growing old to everyone who'd listen, half serious, until, as it does every year, it dawns unto me that my birthday is actually really really coming...

this year, i found out about Disney on Ice in Dublin on my birthday and i was really hyped out about dragging all my too-sweet-to-say-no, and darling-to-the-point-of-wanting-to-please-me, friends to the Point Theatre. then since they're only showing little mermaid, peter pan, lilo and stitch(i didnt even watch this!!) and one other cartoon, none of my favourites: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty & the Beast (gosh, with the emphasis on beauty, is it any wonder that girls grow up obsessed about looking pretty and being all vain???), i'm not very keen myself. i just hope the weather warms up enough to have a pleasant day.

then the moment of truth for 2006 hit me! i was browsing through friendster, in one account, when i saw the birthday alert for my other account! my heart starting racing, i started hyperventilating, the whole sympathetic rxn works! i just had to come here to vent, as im not really sure which of my friends are up at this hour on a saturday morning... but i'll be 22 in less than two weeks... the horrors!!! 22... that's old... really really old.. 21 is just nice and rebellious and ppl expect you to be irresponsible. 22 hails only responsibility and disappointment if u fail to deliver. back in school, some used to say i was matured far beyond my age. i think after i left school, in an attempt to regain my youth, i became way too girly girl and immatured and childish to make up for the lost years. i really feel so inept to face the world, so lost. i don't think i know who i am either, or what makes me happy. it was a pickle to figure out something i wanna do for my birthday, cause i don't even know what will make me smile (and i mean really smile from the bottom of my heart...). perhaps,im not childish, just a bit jaded by what i had to endure the past two years... i've had more drama in the past two years than i have in the 5 years i was in high school. i'm sure there were a significant amount of tribulations back in school, but the face that i only remember the fun and sweet memories, harbours a hope that i might emerge from this cloud, only slightly scarred but otherwise happy...
bottom line is, im not ready. so if anyone has a way of freezing time and delaying the onset of my birthday, can a little more time for reflection be my birthday gift...? i think that's really all i want...


i know the answer is God. i know i have to let Him take over my life before i'm able to fully and truly be happy. but i feel it's so much easier said than done...

ghosts and such...

the past weeks have been hectic to say the least. i can't remember the last time i had to endure such a gruelling timetable, esp when there was no exam looming ahead. But medicine is fun. we learn so much, and i don't really feel tired even after my sixth hour of class, but the exhaustion of travelling and all really kicks in after i take my much-deserved warm shower. oh the feeling's amazing, after which i feel so clean that all i wanna do i crawl under my duvet and never come out!!! :-) the weather's been erratic and very cold, we whine daily about it, about it's March (and by right, from our Geography lessons, it should be spring by now, and well i've heard that spring isn't supposed to be as cold, and that snow was reserved for winter.. eheh but it isnt! hehehehe ). well, yesterday i was just sitting in the coffee dock, feeling quite out of place, very lost and pretty useless, then nabil and platini were talking to me and i just HAD to ask platini if singapore really was as haunted as i've read in Russell Lee's book. then he started telling me some stories he read, with nabil adding in sound effects. i think i'm pretty masochistic when it comes to horror, i know it freaks me out, yet if it presents itself in front of me, i wouldn't turn away. not that i'd go looking for trouble or anything, but there's a certain allure about the rush that accompanies adrenaline. then they mentioned horror movies, Dark Water being one of them. so anyways, that was that.. or so i thought.
i knocked off to sleep and was only 50% conscious till the time i gave in to sleep. (what i'm trying to say here is that i was dead tired... hehe). then i had the creepiest dream... i had a few of my friends over at my apartment(can't remember exactly who). but then suddenly this group of guys knocked on my apartment door and told me that this really young caucasian girl that looked like she was really really worried and had the world's problems burdening her. i knelt down and ask her if she was ok. then she told me that (all this is really vague) she just returned from a holiday (i think it was india or somewhere around there) where she met this one ghost by the name of Inderjit and he's been haunting her ever since. according to the darling girl, he needed me (he was quite specific about asking me) to retrieve this one vase (or some religious thing) and bring it to where he was for the repose of his soul and a few others and that if i didnt, HE'S START HAUNTING ME UNTIL AND UNLESS I DID! i don't remember what became of the girl after that, but i remember telling nal and she told me to dismiss it as nonsense, until i mentioned the name of the vase (it was in a different language) and she reluctantly recognised the significance of the vase. in my dream, for days i was worried about being haunted. i was afraid to be alone, and kept looking around, afraid of what my eyes might catch.
the sun rose very early, as it has been doing for days, around 6. so i was up very early. then this dream came back to me...
Moral of the nightmare: never never discuss horror stories, esp now that i'm not home
(and lateral moral: avoid nabil and platini!!!! ;-))

ghosts and such...

the past weeks have been hectic to say the least. i can't remember the last time i had to endure such a gruelling timetable, esp when there was no exam looming ahead. But medicine is fun. we learn so much, and i don't really feel tired even after my sixth hour of class, but the exhaustion of travelling and all really kicks in after i take my much-deserved warm shower. oh the feeling's amazing, after which i feel so clean that all i wanna do i crawl under my duvet and never come out!!! :-) the weather's been erratic and very cold, we whine daily about it, about it's March (and by right, from our Geography lessons, it should be spring by now, and well i've heard that spring isn't supposed to be as cold, and that snow was reserved for winter.. eheh but it isnt! hehehehe ). well, yesterday i was just sitting in the coffee dock, feeling quite out of place, very lost and pretty useless, then nabil and platini were talking to me and i just HAD to ask platini if singapore really was as haunted as i've read in Russell Lee's book. then he started telling me some stories he read, with nabil adding in sound effects. i think i'm pretty masochistic when it comes to horror, i know it freaks me out, yet if it presents itself in front of me, i wouldn't turn away. not that i'd go looking for trouble or anything, but there's a certain allure about the rush that accompanies adrenaline. then they mentioned horror movies, Dark Water being one of them. so anyways, that was that.. or so i thought.
i knocked off to sleep and was only 50% conscious till the time i gave in to sleep. (what i'm trying to say here is that i was dead tired... hehe). then i had the creepiest dream... i had a few of my friends over at my apartment(can't remember exactly who). but then suddenly this group of guys knocked on my apartment door and told me that this really young caucasian girl that looked like she was really really worried and had the world's problems burdening her. i knelt down and ask her if she was ok. then she told me that (all this is really vague) she just returned from a holiday (i think it was india or somewhere around there) where she met this one ghost by the name of Inderjit and he's been haunting her ever since. according to the darling girl, he needed me (he was quite specific about asking me) to retrieve this one vase (or some religious thing) and bring it to where he was for the repose of his soul and a few others and that if i didnt, HE'S START HAUNTING ME UNTIL AND UNLESS I DID! i don't remember what became of the girl after that, but i remember telling nal and she told me to dismiss it as nonsense, until i mentioned the name of the vase (it was in a different language) and she reluctantly recognised the significance of the vase. in my dream, for days i was worried about being haunted. i was afraid to be alone, and kept looking around, afraid of what my eyes might catch.
the sun rose very early, as it has been doing for days, around 6. so i was up very early. then this dream came back to me...
Moral of the nightmare: never never discuss horror stories, esp now that i'm not home
(and lateral moral: avoid nabil and platini!!!! ;-))

Sunday, March 05, 2006

WARNING: Long post ahead ---->

When i entered Form 1 at SMKTM, the student population comprised mainly of those of us from SKTM2 and a whole new group of ppl from SKTM1. Among the latter group was Andrew and i remember him because his friends made quite a big hoo-haa about Andrew being in a Smarties commercial. Towards the end of high school, my perception of Andrew changed drastically and i developed a profound respect for him. Besides being a surprisingly good friend to me, one who's there whenever i needed someone to talk to, Andrew's a Christian whose Christian values i've grown to really look up to. It isnt so much how he invites every Tom Dick and Harry to church and gets them to sit up and listen to God, instead it's how he holds so strongly to his principles and values in life, never imposing it on others and never never judging. I don't profess to know him really well, or to even see the good deeds he does cause i see him so rarely these days.

and my whole point is this... Andrew never imposes any preaching on us. and it's for this reason that when i received this email of his, in his plight against piracy, that i actually took the time to read through it and to post it here. His points are all valid, you and i and everyone in the world know this. the only difference is that Andrew was brave enough to sit up and listen, stand up and take action. And i choose not to turn a deaf ear to it, nor to cast my eyes downwards in shame. i may not be as brave as him, but i'll help in whatever way i can...

and for those who don't know andrew, and are thinking that he is a boring person who has nothing better to do, take it from me, or anyone who ever had the privilege of knowing him, he's fun, he makes us laugh at our Mamak sessions, even in school, his wisecracks tickled even the strictest teachers.

so here goes...:

To my peers

I have recently made a decision to make a stand against piracy. I know some of you may think I'm crazy (and maybe some of you will say "finally"), but I don't care. My view on life has changed, and with it, my priorities and focus. I choose the difficult path to being one step closer to righteousness, and I know what I'm doing is right. I choose to try, and I will try harder, to be a wholly surrendered vessel that can be used by God. I want to be ready for God's movement when it comes, and I'm taking sure and planned steps to prepare myself. Throwing away my DVD's, pirated games, software and other stuff will be difficult, but now I know, and truly understand why king Solomon said that everything under the sun is meaningless. Attached with this letter is an essay I wrote to present to you, my case against piracy in hopes that some of you may rise and stand with me, and together perhaps, we can change our generation, and even our nation. If I slave and labour futilely alone against piracy, then so be it. I know where my rewards are. However, I challenge you to take your time to read it and consider, just consider the implications, if I'm right.

God bless.

Andrew Tan

ps: Feel free to pass this on to your peers if you want to, and feel free to correct me in places that I may be wrong.

My case, and war against piracy.

Points :

• It is against the law – There is no gray issue here. The laws of our country and others clearly state that it is illegal to possess trade or use pirated goods. As Christians, we are to submit to authority. We must acknowledge that God is sovereign, and he has placed us under governments for a reason. The only possible reason for Christians to break the law would be if the law of the world defies the word of God. I’m very sure the bible does not have any commands or directives that allow us to break the law in this manner. Some may argue that if this is the case, and we should submit to authority, then what if countries ban the bible and preaching the gospel? The answer is simple. Jesus says in Mat 28 : 18-20 “And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, all authority is given to Me in Heaven and in earth. Therefore go and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things, whatever I commanded you. And, behold, I am with you all the days until the end of the world. Amen.” There is no conflict. God’s command is greater than all.

• It is stealing – People have invested much time and effort into producing the product that we so easily and readily purchase copies of. Does the bible allow stealing? Obviously not, as it is written so clearly in the 10 commandments. Every pirated product we buy/copy or download means money NOT going into the pockets of the rightful people who worked for it. The bible says in 2The 3 : 10 “For even when we were with you, we commanded you this, that if anyone would not work, neither should he eat.” Similarly, if we do not want to pay for something, then neither should we enjoy it. To give a crude illustration of this, Imagine the water department builds a pipe to your house. You pay your monthly bills and you enjoy a reliable supply of water. Then, imagine a stranger comes, breaks open the pipe, and connects it to his house. Your water pressure drops. The water department may even cut the water supply if they find out about it. How would you feel? Bringing it a little closer to the current generation, how would you feel is someone sets up his laptop near your house and steals your Wi-Fi bandwidth? Or perhaps see it this way, buying pirated products means you’re paying others to steal. For you. Your hands are no cleaner than the pirates themselves.

• It is hypocrisy - A sin is a sin. There are no BIG sins or small sins. We as Christians judge others when we see abortions, when we see homosexuality, when we see terrorist killing people, when we read of rape, murder, robbery, deception, corruption, and the list goes on. Guess what, if we indulge in piracy, I believe we are no better in God’s eyes. We judge others, whose sins may be more provoking, but yet, we are no better than the white-washed Pharisees of Jesus’ time. No small comparison when we know that they are the ones who called for Christ crucifixion. Mat 7:3 says “And why do you look on the splinter that is in your brother's eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye?” Before we continue judging others. I believe there’s a need for us to first, judge ourselves.

• It is probably affecting us spiritually – I cannot help but feel strongly that this war against piracy is not only fought physically, but also in the spiritual realm and dimension. Mat 12:43-45 says “When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he walks through dry places seeking rest, and finds none. Then he said, I will return into my house from where I came out. And when he has come, he finds it empty, swept, and decorated. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter in and live there. And the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so it also shall be to this evil generation.” Notice how it brings the illustration of an unclean spirit in a man, and links it to a generation. What if “piracy” is an unclean spirit/s assigned to our generation? How corrupted have we allowed ourselves to be then? If it be true, then we have swallowed hook, line and sinker of Satan’s trap. So often people can blame gambling, sexual immorality, rebellion, etc on spirits. Why not piracy? Perhaps it is time for us to look again at the things we have become so accustomed to and comfortable with. If piracy is indeed a spirit, then this generation has to first rid itself of it before it can be filled fully with the things of God. Eph 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the world's rulers, of the darkness of this age, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

• Piracy corrupts - Mat 12:33 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree corrupt and its fruit corrupt; for the tree is known by its fruit.” In my opinion, piracy has become the biggest corrupting factor for today’s generation in our region. For example, piracy has made readily available, media that is uncensored, unmoderated, uncertified, all at an affordable price. Materials otherwise banned by our government, and almost always for good reason. Influence of movies, music, TV serials, etc has increased many fold, simply because the current generation is constantly bombarded with them. This leads to rapid moral decline, trapping the generation in a sinking spiral. When we compromise something like piracy, we have already given a foothold for the devil to work his way into our minds. Satan seeks to make us corrupt. I believe piracy is one of his greatest tools. Not only does it corrupt us by blurring the edges of outright theft, it also indirectly corrupts our morality, our integrity, our spirituality and our ability to hear God’s voice.

• Mighty men and women of God are righteous - 1Pe 3:12 “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears open to their prayers. But the Lord's face is against those who do evil.“, Jam 5:16 “Confess faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous one avails much”. We often ask ourselves why God can use certain people with such great power, and why we don’t see the reality of this power that Jesus has promised us in Joh 14:12 “Truly, truly, I say to you, He who believes on Me, the works that I do he shall do also, and greater works than these he shall do, because I go to My Father.” I believe one of the reasons is because these men and women have set standards of righteousness. They strive and pursue the goal to be like Christ, who is without sin. Surely Gods power can move in us even though we are not perfect, but a pure and holy vessel will be more readily used by God. 2Ti 2:19 “Nevertheless the foundation of God stands sure, having this seal: "The Lord knew those who are His." And, "Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity!" But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honor, and some to dishonor. Therefore if anyone purges himself from these, he shall be a vessel to honor, sanctified and useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. But flee youthful lusts, and follow righteousness, faith, love, peace, with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” I believe if we want to see God’s power work in us, some standards of righteousness should be set, and piracy MUST be dealt with. 1Co 15:34 “Be righteously awake, and sin not; for some have ignorance of God. I speak this to your shame.”

• It is a bondage – Piracy has weaved itself and has become so intertwined with our daily lives, that it has mutated into a form of bondage. Ask anyone to stop their acts of piracy, and the effects will be clear and obvious. They will immediately seek ways to defend themselves, and when they are proven wrong, they will choose to ignore you, and feign ignorance. It has become so difficult for many to leave this lifestyle behind.


Excuses :

• I can use the money I save for God – Total rubbish. The idea of stealing from the rich and giving to the poor has nothing to do with God. If God had allowed this, Jesus would have asked Zaccheus to tax even more so he can give to the ministry. It is disgusting to think that people actually think they can steal from others, and give what they have stolen to God.

• It is convenient – Indeed piracy has made things so convenient for us. Why bother driving the whole family to the cinema, when a single pirated DVD bought from the peddler who approached you at the hawker center can make everyone happy at home? Why buy the whole CD when I only want one song? The fact is, none of these excuses are justified in this current age, because through technology, it is just as convenient to purchase original DVD’s, MP3’s and etc. Besides, making things convenient for ourselves is the first sign that we’re slipping into complacency. Just like how many people nowadays treat God as just another convenience. If convenience were the law to live by, then there would be lawlessness.

• The original is too expensive – A very simple answer for this is, if you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. We do NOT need movies. We do NOT need MP3’s, we do NOT need TV series, branded shoes, pirated T-shirts, fake watches, etc. Mat 6:19-21 “Do not lay up treasures on earth for yourselves, where moth and rust corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up treasures in Heaven for yourselves, where neither moth nor rust corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” The bible clearly states that all this material things that we hunger after, from entertainment to clothes, have no value, and so there is no reason for us to want it in the first place. If it is indeed too expensive, then live without it, or work for it. Besides, piracy generally leads to less legitimate sales, which leads to lower profits, which leads to even higher prices to cover costs. If piracy would be eradicated today, Prices of many things would certainly balance out and start being more affordable.

• Everyone does it - Rom 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God.” Jesus calls us to be the salt and the light of the world. If we as Christians conform to the standards of the ungodly, than what difference can we make? What right do we have to preach the life changing message of Christ, if we ourselves, are no different from the world? We should be the leaders, and not the followers, and as leaders, we should lead the world to paths of righteousness. Not following them into sin and thievery.

• I can’t wait to watch the show – Perhaps then we should ask ourselves if it really is necessary for us to watch that movie, listen to that song, or catch that series. Does it in any way edify God? What do we actually miss? The fact is, as Christians these things should mean nothing to us. If they mean so much, that you just have to ignore God’s word, then I believe your priorities need to be re-evaluated, and you need to check who is God in your life, and who is God to you.

• I cannot find the original – This argument is invalid in today’s context, as almost anything is available for us to buy online. If it is not, then once again, we should question ourselves if we really need it.

• I just want to try it and see – We can always watch trailers, research and read about it, ask opinions of others and download/listen to demos. It does not justify stealing. Otherwise, I can say that I just want to try what it feels like to be rich, so I rob the bank. There are legitimate means of trying and testing a product. We have no excuse for doing things the illegal way.


FAQ :

• What about files and things I already have? - Jos 7:19-26 “And Joshua said to Achan, My son, I pray you, give glory to Jehovah, the God of Israel, and make confession to Him. And tell me now what you have done. Do not hide it from me. And Achan answered Joshua and said, Indeed I have sinned against Jehovah, the God of Israel, and this I have done. When I saw among the spoil a goodly robe of Shinar, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight, I coveted them and took them. And behold, they are hidden in the earth in the middle of my tent, and the silver under it. And Joshua sent messengers, and they ran into the tent. And behold, it was hidden in his tent, and the silver under it. And they took them out of the middle of the tent, and brought them to Joshua, and to all the sons of Israel. And they laid them out before Jehovah. And Joshua, and all Israel with him, took Achan the son of Zerah, and the silver, and the garment, and the wedge of gold, and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his asses, and his sheep, and his tent, and all that he had. And they brought them to the valley of Achor. And Joshua said, Why have you troubled us? Jehovah shall trouble you this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones. And they raised over him a great heap of stones to this day. And Jehovah turned from the greatness of His anger. Therefore, the name of that valley is called, The Valley of Grief, to this day.” I believe that if God says no, we should have no relation to whatever that was forbidden. Achan did not do anything with the things he took, but kept and hid them. His sin was disobedience, and the consequence of it was he and everything he had was destroyed.

• What about pirated clothes/shoes/etc? – I share the same sentiments about other pirated products besides digital ones. In the end, Basically we are still robbing people of reaping the fruits of their labor, and paying those who conveniently steal ideas and designs.

• What about sharing music with people to practice in church? – In my opinion, we can all live without it. If you claim that it helps you play better, then here’s a better suggestion, buy the scores, and learn how to read and interpret them correctly. Otherwise, you can always buy the CD, or perhaps if there was enough support, one day Christian music can be found commercially on legitimate sites like Apple’s iTunes.

• What about duplicating copies of something I bought as backup? – If you’re not selling or distributing the copies, then I believe it is alright. This is also in accordance to the law of the country.

• What about singing copyrighted songs in church (eg : HillSongs)? – There are always legitimate ways of doing things. It is only up to us if we want to do things the right way, or ignore them for our own convenience. If ever in doubt, always check with the owner of the copyrighted material.

• What about downloading TV series? They will show it on TV anyway – Some reason that if ultimately they will get to watch it, then what’s the difference? The difference is, watching it on national television you are paying for the show by having to sit through the advertisements. Also, our government has provided us with a blessing that is often criticized, which is censorship and ratings system. Downloading from sources not regulated by the government means we are bypassing their control, which exposes us to temptations and sin of the lustful human body.

• What about things that I cannot buy in Malaysia (eg : Movies)? – If the product is not available in Malaysia, then it must either be too obscure or deemed unsuitable by the government. In the first case, there are always online sites where you can purchase original copies of the product. If it has been banned, then what possible righteous reason can we give for wanting/needing it? Movies are not a necessity.

• What about things that are designed to look like something else (branded) but does not claim to be, or have any relation to that product (eg : a BATA shoe looking like a NIKE )? – I believe we can always tell if the business we are purchasing our goods from is legitimate or not. It’s very obvious that NIKEY shoes in Petaling Street are of illegal means, while a BATA shoe comes from a legitimate business, which means legal action can be taken against them for copyright and design infringements by the rightful parties. Hence it can be assumed that legitimate businesses would not purposefully copy and pirate a product and put it for sale. However if still in doubt and your conscience bugs you, then the simplest answer would be to walk away and buy something else.

• What if someone gave me something pirated? What do I do with it? – Perhaps with human emotions coming into play in regards to gift, this can be a very sensitive issue to deal with, but I believe there are very practical, if difficult answers. Firstly, we could destroy it, plain and simple. Secondly, we could return the gift to the giver, and explain humbly your stand on piracy. This way, people will begin to see a difference in your standards, and the world. This way, people will begin to question their own standards. This way, we can actually create a culture that will frown upon piracy. I believe the wrong thing to do would be to give it to someone else as a gift.


Why I want to do it (summary):

God has called us to be the light of the world. If we do not differentiate ourselves from the ways of this world, then we are no better, and perhaps worse, because we know it is wrong, yet still defy it. We should be setting the standards for the world to follow. We should be shining God’s light at the path that people should take. We should be, but are we?

I believe the standard of purity needs to be raised among ourselves. Why? Because multiple people and signs are pointing towards something major happening spiritually in our region this year, and I believe for it to come into greatest effect, we should purify ourselves, and prepare our hearts to be filled with the things of God. If we are still so complacent about stealing, then surely we are not ready for God’s movement. I want to be a part of this movement of God, and I don’t want to rob myself of this chance to be an impact to the nation just because of some sources of temporary entertainment. Even if go at it alone, and revival still breaks forth as God is all powerful, I lose nothing, and gain integrity. I know for sure God sees. And I know for sure my rewards will be in heaven. Psa 24:3 “Who shall go up into the hill of Jehovah? Or who shall stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart; who has not lifted up his soul to vanity, and has not sworn deceitfully.” Surely God can use anyone and anything, but even more surely God can use a surrendered obedient vessel to even greater things.

What we have on this earth, our experiences, our joy, sadness, pain, it is all temporal. What is a hundred plus years on earth when compared to the prospect of reigning eternally with God? Think about it, what is working one full day in the sun, with no food, water and shelter, when you can retire for the rest of your life? Why do we find it so cruelly normal to slave everyday at our workplace, then enjoy one or two days of rest, but cannot see that life on earth is like a “day” of work for the kingdom of heaven, and a “hundred years” of reward, glory and honor? Our lifetime on this earth is so small, yet it is the only thing God asks that we surrender our lives to him. Have we really surrendered ourselves? Let us not be so focused on what we can get for ourselves on this earth, but on what we can gain in the kingdom of God. I’m sure if we get this right, God will bless us on earth till overflowing. Luk 6:20-23 “And lifting up His eyes to His disciples, He said, Blessed are the poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when men shall hate you, and when they shall cut you off, and when they shall reproach you and shall cast out your name as evil, for the sake of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy. For behold, your reward is great in Heaven. For so their fathers did according to these things to the prophets.”

Looking at the big picture, I see the significance of trying my best to set things right, if only the things that are made obvious to me. Hopefully, as I progress, God will reveal more that needs to be done, and God willing, with his strength, I will carry out his will. But as for now, I can hear clearly a clarion call of war against piracy, and I want to rise up and take a stand, a stand that I feel has been conveniently ignored, and by ignoring, we as a Body of Christ have been significantly weakened. Before we think of taking spiritual warfare to the gates of the enemy, let us purify ourselves, lest we fall into the same mistakes that befell the army of Israel. It is just as difficult for me, perhaps even more than some others, to leave this culture of piracy behind, but in the end, I know it will be worth it. If no one wants to voice out, then let me be the voice of reason calling for change. Let’s not look at this matter lightly anymore, but let us address it with a firm resolve, because years of compromise have weakened us to the point of acceptance of sin staring at our face.


My action plan against piracy:

• Get rid of all my illegal mp3’s .

• Delete my illegally downloaded videos and series.

• Throw away all my pirated discs.

• Stop buying/downloading/ pirated products or copying files illegally.

• Replace my pirated software with original versions.

• Hold myself accountable by letting others know my stand, so they can remind me in my moment of weakness, and at the same time, bring to their awareness about this issue.

• Sign up for services such as iTunes so that I can legally purchase MP3’s and other commonly pirated products in the future.

• Try my best to accomplish all of that in a timeframe of 3 months.

• Pray for God to help me.


Other things I must do :

• I must remind myself that if I accomplish this, it does not give me any right to judge others.

• Pray and watch for the coming movement of God, and be ready to be a part of it.

• Keep my ears, eyes and heart open to God, to hear what more he has to say for me to do.


Mal 3 “Behold, I will send My messenger, and He will clear the way before Me. And Jehovah, whom you seek, shall suddenly come to His temple, even the Angel of the Covenant, in whom you delight. Behold, He comes, says Jehovah of Hosts. But who can endure the day of His coming? And who shall stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner's fire, and like fuller's soap. And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver. And He shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may be offerers of a food offering in righteousness to Jehovah. Then the food offering of Judah and Jerusalem shall be pleasing to Jehovah, as in the days of old and as in former years. And I will come near you to judgment. And I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those who extort from the hired laborer's wages, and turning away the widow, and the orphan, the alien, and not fearing Me, says Jehovah of Hosts. For I am Jehovah, I change not. Because of this you sons of Jacob are not destroyed. From the days of your fathers, you have turned aside from My statutes, and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you, says Jehovah of Hosts. But you say. In what way shall we return? Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me. But you say, In what have we robbed You? In the tithe and the offering! You are cursed with a curse; for you are robbing Me, the nation, all of it. Bring all the tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house. And test Me now with this, says Jehovah of Hosts, to see if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you, and pour out a blessing for you, until there is not enough room. And I will rebuke your devourer, and he shall not decay the fruit of your ground against you; nor shall your vine miscarry against you in the field, says Jehovah of Hosts. And all nations shall call you blessed; for you shall be a delightful land, says Jehovah of Hosts. Your words have been strong against Me, says Jehovah. Yet you say, What have we spoken against You? You have said, It is vain to serve God; and, What profit is it that we have kept His charge, and that we have walked as mourners before Jehovah of Hosts? And now we are calling the arrogant blessed. Not only are the doers of wickedness built up, they also test God, and escape. Then those fearing Jehovah spoke together, each man to his neighbor. And Jehovah listened and heard. And a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who feared Jehovah, and for those esteeming His name. And they shall be Mine, says Jehovah of Hosts, for the day that I will make up My treasure. And I will pity them as a man has pity on his son who serves him. Then you shall again see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between him who serves God, and him who does not serve Him.”


Andrew Tan – 26th February 2006


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Sunday, February 26, 2006

a toast to a wonderful one month break...

:-) (i'm well-rested and raring to go that i'm going to start this post with a smile and a beam for the world...)
ei leen said that i hardly update my blog. hehe can't help but agree with her, and i foresee even less frequent updates with the dawn of the new term on Monday.
i was dreading this new semester cause we'd have to commence classes in Beaumont Hospital which is a half an hour bus ride away(i think, maybe more...) and we're all split into these groups of 30 and a subgroup of 10, and we pretty much move around in those groups, we'll attend lectures together, even take breaks together while the other groups are in session. these are the ppl who'll be with me for the remaining one year journey here in dublin. (it's quite sad that i have only one year left here!!!). we're planning to go to amsterdam for the Easter hols as it'll be our last spring in Dublin. oh well... oh anyways... it's a whole new semester, with a whole new schedule, whole new bunch of friends and a whole new wardrobe! hehe i was having trouble accepting this new change, and the anticipation is horrible, but i went to print out the timetable to get a clearer view(kinda like how i need to list down all i need to cover before an exam before i'm able to start studying and to ease the panic and pressure), and it's not all that bad. i'm actually very excited abt my first clinical observation this coming wednesday. i'd get to enter a theatre in scrubs and all!! oooooooh can hardly wait! will have to charge my camera to bring to beaumont from now on! so many new experiences and adventures!
there's a lot of things in my mind right now, but i think instead of boring everyone with my thoughts-unscrambling on my blog,i think perhaps i should sit down and think and sort through my thoughts before coming back.
hehe some more mira just told me my blog's length and difficult to read.. sigh...
will revamp it soon, dear... ehhe
be right back!

Friday, February 24, 2006

just a forward i picked up in friendster...

i know it's not nice to read the same forward over and over again, but i like posting the ones that really get to me here, to immortalise them and for easy access. so i apologise if i'm boring anyone, but it's amazing that just when i feel the world has exhausted its creative juices and that the same ones are circulating over and over again, a new one pops up. this one made me smile...

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteouslyfor hours as the farmer
tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided
the animal was old, and the well needed to be
covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to
retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help
him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel
dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what
was happening and cried horribly. Then, to
everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked
down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the
donkey was doing something amazing. He would
shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt
on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take
a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as
the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well
and happily trotted off!

(my note:though if u think about it, the well is no more... and if the farmer didn't sacrifice the well, the donkey would have just died in there... though the stench would force him to sacrifice the well. i guess, what i'm trying to say is that the donkey's freedom didnt come free...)

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to

getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a
step up. Each of our

troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the
deepest wells just by

not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take
a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never
happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

You have two choices...smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to spread the
fun. I know what I did!!

"Challenges are what make life interesting,
overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

i've actually, really been tagged!

oh how fun! hehe
just got back from a european tour with my mummy. but i've become accustomed and bored of architecture, not much impresses me anymore, it's like everything's nice and great and amazing, how much nicer can the nicest, tallest, widest, more incredible be anymore? ehhe but i loved the snow in lucerne(and the hot chocolate that came after!) and the sun glistening on the water in lugano. switzerland's absolutely magical. (and the guys are hot too, much hotter than the italians or french! ) hehe london was surprisingly nice too, i deduced that perhaps it's because their history of the monarchy and all is ongoing, current and the tradition carries on. ehhe that and perhaps cause their monarchy has a certain dashing prince... hehehe
anyways, dear Joanne tagged me just before i left for my hols and i've never been tagged in cyberspace before. so exciting!

Rule 1: List 5 weird or random things about yourself.

1. i dislike sneakers and jeans (though i do love my pair of Topshop jeans for petite ppl)
2. i'm alarmingly and shockingly short!
3. i'm an awful friend.
4. i like guys who are smartly dressed, in a proper shirt and tie, trenchcoats are nice! and a nice proper haircut on a guy deep in concentration is so hot! ;-)
5. i am really really insecure, i feel ugly and stupid most of the time.

Rule 2: 5 people whom I want to do the quiz (gosh, im not even sure who reads this...)

1. my baby brother
2. gracie! (to revive your blog!!)
3. hen (if u still read, dear...)
4. ei leen
5. lorraine loh

ok... reply to another tag, though im not sure if lionel meant sarah (Jane) or if he knows another sarah.

Three names you go by:
1. sarah-jane
2. girl
3. che

Three parts of your heritage:
1. i love the whole long story of my mom's side is filipino mixed such and such, and so on and so forth. (probably the only interesting thing about me! hehe)
2. my mother's temper(short and very very hot tempered), forgiving nature, and the ability to merajuk and get hurt over the smallest things!
3. oh and my name... i love my name...

Three things that scare you:
1. water (obviously large quantities of it la...)
2. losing my loved ones (so keep healthy k?)
3. being lonely, now and later in life...

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. email and msn!
2. my handphone
3. fruits (i eat a whole carton of grapes daily, if i can get my hands on one!)

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. my most comfortable white tank top i sleep in
2. the silver bracelet my cousins gave me for christmas
3. my medal of St Christopher

Three of your favorite songs or fictional Disney musical artists (at the moment):
1. you're beautiful by james blunt
2. sleeping beauty's "a dream is a wish"
3. kiss the girl, in little mermaid

Two truths and a lie (not in order):
1. i have a boyfriend
2. i'm really fascinated by the workings of an aeroplane
3. i like non-thinking-type movies and books!

Things about the opposite sex that appeal to you right now:
1. a good posture (a guy with good posture can make ANY type of clothing look hot!)
2. a sincere smile and engaging eyes
3. intelligent conversation!

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. pampering myself with hair masque, face mask, curlers, etc
2. nice long, warm showers
3. a nice cup of chamomile tea and a good book (or magazine!)

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. hug my brother
2. gossip with my sister
3. have a chocolate ice blended in warm malaysia whilst not having to bundle and layer up!

Three places you want to go:
1. home
2. home
3. hmm... home la i think...

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. be beautiful! especially later in life
2. get a pilot's license
3. make my parents really proud

Three ways that you are stereotypically male/ female:
1. i like shopping...
2. I dont understand sports or how guys can forget everything while playing sports
3. i overanalyse every emotion and get moody very very easily

Three people you would like to see take this survey:
1. Daniel
2. Gracie
3. Sharon

that was fun!!! hehe i never knew there were parts of my personality that could answer those questions! now that i've started, i feel like i dowan to stop. hehe so
p/s i LOVE being manja-ed!

Monday, January 30, 2006

2nd Chinese New Year in Dublin

The girls : kahlay, waiquen, me and limy

with abhi and wai quen

with lorraine, sharon and limy...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

God loves me!

Malaysia Creates Team to Track 'Bigfoot'
2 hours, 10 minutes ago
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A southern Malaysian state will appoint a team of scientists and experts to hunt for a "Bigfoot" beast after the reported sighting of three giant human-like creatures, officials said Thursday.

ADVERTISEMENT

Johor Chief Minister Abdul Ghani Othman said the state will form an official Bigfoot-tracking team in a serious bid to find evidence of such a beast following the reported sightings late last year in the Endau Rompin National Park forest.

"The mystery of Bigfoot's existence has attracted a lot of interest," he was quoted as saying by the Bernama national news agency. "We hope the expedition will be able to prove its existence."

Ghani's aide confirmed the report Thursday, saying state administrators decided to set up the team after a council meeting late Wednesday.

"Bigfoot" is a popular name given in the United States to giant hairy creatures walking on two legs. Sightings of such beasts have been reported in many parts of the world but their existence has never been proven.

Malaysian media have been gripped by Bigfoot fever since November 2005, when fish farm workers reported seeing three giant human-like hairy beasts at the edge of the Endau Rompin reserve. They also claimed to have seen a gigantic footprint which they photographed.

The photo was later printed by local newspapers.

Park officials have combed the site where the men claimed they saw the creatures, but found no physical evidence of their existence. However, they recorded more reports of sightings from Aborigine villagers who live on the park's fringes.

Tourism authorities are planning to capitalize on the sightings to attract visitors to Johor and the park. Wildlife officials said they may set up camera traps in the jungle to capture images of the creature.

---->can't believe they're actually serious about it. it's like we're making headlines for the wrong reasons. would probably make us laughingstocks of the world. amazing what people can do with funding... hehehehehe
on a side note(but a major note in my life), i've passed the first profs! the pass/fail list was out yesterday and those who kept me company online would know how stressed, nervous, anxious, tight-ropey i was esp at 0500 GMT. and the relief that followed was amazing. wanted to cry, wanted to laugh, wanted to party, but the tension was way too much for my body to take, and i was dead tired. :-) but i passed. it seems ludicrous that i'm getting all excited about a pass, before this it's been a given to pass. it's horribly disappointing, for myself, but only those who went through it and those who know the circumstances surrounding our exams would truly understand what an ordeal it was to live through, not so much the difficulty of the exam per se, rather the layout. oh well! :-) i survived! and i passed!
was feeling quite unworthy to be blessed by God, and also cause i went back home for Christmas when most ppl were studying like mad here. God really IS great. and He loves me oh-so-much. :-) i love you Jesus! or as my cousin says "i lap you long time"... hehe hugzzzz, world!

....You are one of a kind—designed to glorify God as only you can....

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

'Worst' Day of the Year...

Dr. Cliff Arnall, a British psychologist, has developed a formula to determine the worst day of the year. One factor is the time elapsed since Christmas, when the holiday glow has given way to the reality of credit-card bills. Gloomy winter weather, short days, and the failure to keep New Year's resolutions are also a part of Dr. Arnall's calculations. Last year, January 24 received the dubious distinction of being "the most depressing day of the year.

picked that out of Our Daily Bread. hehe how very interesting... but anyways...
the dreaded and oh-so-hard-to-endure exams came and went... it was a gruelling 5 days, with blow after blow of 5 subjects in papers of 10 essays to write... gosh, it really drained a lot out of me, and at the end of it all, it's only worse cause i didnt feel a huge wave of relief wash over me, cause i dont think i did as well as i would have liked to considering how out of breath i am and how it drained and realyl tested my stamina... but the relief came in little tides that soothed my wounds... :-) and i feel so grateful that God got me through this. for now, for me, im not putting so much emphasis on my results (though i do so pray that i'd pass!!) but i feel i deserve the break that i'm on now, even if only by default of pulling through scathed but surviving! :-) didnt turn to the toxic effects of coffee, or alcohol, but i do so understand how med students can be on the verge of drugs, suicide and all...
oh well, praise the Lord! :-) i made it through... but im sooooo reeling from the effects of sleep deprivation and such...
well, here's to the 'worst' day of the year and a toast to the one exam that really made me, and is still making me, doubt myself...

Thursday, January 19, 2006

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle
An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a
secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer
probably has a respectable, stable job that
gives him a high income to own a car, invest,
have a comfortable life, and get married and buy
a house too. Law graduates are still working as
a lowly apprentice in a law firm, most
management graduates have just failed on their
first business plan, the arts graduate is still
looking for a job, and the medical school
graduate is still living in a hospital. ---

Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness
An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an
unimaginable amount of his time and effort to
understand you. Engineers strain really really
hard to understand their work. You can believe
that they will try really really hard to
understand women too, just like how they
understand their work, once they believe that
you are the one. So even if they don't
understand you initially, they will keep on
trying. Even if they still do not understand,
they will figure out the correct method to keep
you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's
worth of happiness.) And once they find out the
secret formula, they will just keep on repeating
it so that the desired results appear. Unlike
the Lawyer who will argue with you, the
Management graduate who will try to control your
spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change
major', and the medical school graduate who will
operate on you. And you know what, it's really
so easy to make engineers believe that you are
the 'one'. Say that you like one of their
projects and they will be hooked to you forever.-

Advantage 3:
An engineer boyfriend will never betray your
trust. Let me first tell you what is wrong with
the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie
about everything, management graduates will
cheat your money, the arts graduate will flirt,
and you probably just look like another cadaver
to the medical school graduate. Your engineer
boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair,
and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to
you about that.

Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend
that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep
on trying to understand and please you, has no
time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you. So
girls, why procrastinate? Get an engineer for
your boyfriend

Sunday, January 15, 2006

exams... :-)

just an observation...
the dawn of exams brings with it two things :-
a). people started consuming more coffee which means escalated sales for Butlers
-this is pretty self-explanatory and most ppl are familiar with the stimulatory effect of caffeine

b). God takes a more central role in more lives
-i can't deny guilt over this... i like to think i think of God all the time even before this, but i cant honestly say i do...
but i guess ppl wanting to feel Jesus' presence is good, i only hope i can keep Him in my heart where He belongs...

Words from today's sermon;
Jesus would say "Don't doubt My love"
"Speak Lord Your servant is listening"
We need to find 'home' to find peace and faith, and Jesus' home is in us, just as we are in Him, and Jesus is in the Father and the Father in Jesus, thus our bodies indeed ARE the temple of the Holy Spirit... purity all the waaaaaay!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

what do women really want?

-Thanesh posted this on Friendster and it's by far one of the nicest ones i've read in a very very very long time...


Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned
by the
monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch
could have killed
him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals.
So, the monarch
offered him his freedom, as long as he could
answer a very
difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure
out the
answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer,
he would
be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most
knowledgeable man, and to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But,
since it was
better than death, he accepted the monarch's
proposition to have
an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
everyone:
the princess, the priests, the wise men and even
the court
jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could
give him a
satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to
consult the
old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was
famous
throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices
she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no
choice
but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the
question,
but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the
most
noble of the Knights of the Round Table and
Arthur's closest
friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was
hunchbacked and
hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like
sewerage, made obscene
noises, etc. He had never encountered such a
repugnant creature
in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and
endure
such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal,
spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice
compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round
Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch
answered
Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to
be in
charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the
witch
had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life
would be
spared.

And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted
Arthur
his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a
wonderful
wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot,
steeling
himself for a horrific experience, entered the
bedroom. But,
what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful
woman he had ever
seen, lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked
what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her
when she appeared as a witch, she would
henceforth, be her
horrible deformed self only half the time and the
beautiful
maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the
day....or
night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the
day, a
beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at
night, in the
privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he
prefer having
a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a
beautiful
woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate
moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make
YOUR choice
before you scroll down below. OKAY?







Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave
Arthur to his question, said that he would allow
HER to
make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would
be beautiful all the time because he had respected
her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now.... what is the moral of this story?


The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

horoscopes...

don't usually read them, what more, believe in them... but my horoscope for today in friendster caught my eye (or maybe i was looking for something to attract my attention away from my studies!) so i decided to put it here, cause i think i know what my new year's resolution should be... to love my family as priority and to show it to them...!
so here it is, courtesy of friendster:

The Bottom Line
A sudden disdain for new places leads you to return to a long-forgotten favorite.

In Detail
A recent event has made it clear to you that you need to put your priorities in order -- on all levels. Emotionally speaking, of course, family, true friends and loved ones will necessarily take the number one spot in your heart -- and since you're prioritizing, spend some time with them and spoil them a bit, for absolutely no other reason than simply to let them know how much you care

NB: will blog about christmas later in the evening after im done with genetics!

Monday, November 14, 2005

dreams...

or probably more accurately labelled nightmare in this instance...
Nal and i were logging onto this website to check our 'BTN Camp results'. well actually i was on the phone with Nal and i was accessing the website. the format of the downloaded page was pretty much like the notices RCSI uploads onto the internet for us to download, then read, pretty much like how our results are given... (the Biro Tatanegara Camp is a compulsory camp for government servants wanting a promotion and was a requirement for government scholars to be allowed to go overseas, as it supposedly instils patriotism in us, so on and so forth).
so before we could click to download, there was some notice that more than 2 people didnt pass the BTN test, so Nal started freaking out, and i did too, though i didnt show it, cause i remember at camp someone told us, no one had ever failed the test, except for this one odd soul... then i downloaded it and there were two columns. the first with all the ppl who passed and the second with all who didnt, and i saw that the 2nd one was of a considerable amount too. so nal asked me to check hers, and (oddly, it was 8 digit numbers with a '0' in front, very much like our RCSI student IDs) so Nal's number was indeed there. but i scanned for mine in the first column and it didnt seem to be there. i panicked and the sympathetic reaction started to kick in... so i scrolled to the 2nd column and my number was there. i felt my world slowly melt and ooze down on me,kinda like melting ice cream on a cone... i clicked on this link which was supposed to tell us what being in that column entails. it was in bullet-form, something along the lines that the score was final, no appeals would be entertained and that meant that we had our scholarships forfeited and JPA wasn't going to sponsor us overseas(all in Malay of course). i was dumbfounded. i kept trying to tell myself in the dream that maybe it was just a dream, but me in the dream was truly convinced it was reality. i didnt know whether to cry, or scream, or do what... i had no future... or i did, but it was bleak. i was not going to be a doctor, and since i was already in Dublin, i had to go home... i had never felt more hopeless than i did at that very moment.
Then thankfully, when i felt i was going to be able to feel what being dead was like, as in every dream that has us hanging at the edge of the string of life, i woke up!

Monday, October 31, 2005

Nostalgia menusuk hati...





As deepavali and Raya Aidilfitri roll around, i find i'm missing home a lot. the festivites scoops up every malaysian and one can't help but be swept away along with tide when we hear 'Suatu hari di hari raya...' or something like that... :-) Maybe it's growing up in Melawati. who knows... but i miss home, i miss my friends. i know i'd always always have my family with me, but friendships are so fragile, one moment it can withstand any storm, and the next, strangers in Dublin might be friendlier! So i'd like to take this chance to thank all my friends for putting up with me, since it's especially difficult to keep in touch with me when i'm known far and wide for FFK-ing. but thanks for making the effort to keep in touch, as stubborn as i am... Vitamin C - Graduation Song Lyrics
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
Chorus:
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
:-) i look back on my high school with fond memories only... college, there's a mixture, but mostly fondness. SO happy deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Body found one minute away from Mercer Court and RCSI!!!

I woke up this morning and walked out of Mercer compound, and nothing seemed amiss. that is until, we crossed the road to Dunnes side, and noticed some Garda Vans. but that didnt strike me as being particularly odd... then at the junction where we turn left to get to college, there was a roughly square area that was taped off with the white-and-blue-words-GARDA crime scene tape. there was what looked like a dome or tent at one side, but other than that, i couldnt see anything. in class, Limy told me some bodies were found there, and on my way back, i didnt notice anything either. then after my nap, victor text-ed me and told me that a woman's body was found, supposedly murdered and he told me to be careful and to pray for protection. i collected this piece of news online, watched the evening news, but so far, nothing else is known... it's sooooooo near and the thing is, im so used to walking around alone, sometimes... luckily it's getting colder and colder, too cold to simply venture out...

Murder investigation launched after Dublin body-find
25/10/2005 - 13:06:38

GardaĆ­ have said that they are now conducting a murder investigation following the discovery of a woman's body in Dublin city centre.

The grim find was made by passers-by on Mercer Street, near St Stephen's Green, just after 4am today.

The body was found wrapped in a sheet with a rope tied around it. The age and nationality of the woman is not known.

Forensic experts are at the scene and the State Pathologist, Dr Marie Cassidy, will carry out a post mortem later today.


From: Students Union Sent: Tue 10/25/2005 5:20 PM
To: Student List
Cc:
Subject: Safety around College & Mercer Library
Attachments:
View As Web Page
Hi all,

With the evenings getting darker as we approach winter, it is important to remind all students walking in the area around college and the Mercer library (and elsewhere in Dublin) to be vigilant, watch your belongings, keep to well-lit areas and, where possible, walk in groups.

While nothing may have happened to you or your friends in the past, incidents do happen, and by keeping an eye out for you and your fellow students, you can hopefully help prevent any further such incidents from occurring.

If you notice any suspicious activity, please report it to security as soon as possible,

Regards,

The SU

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

paary posted this in friendster...

now, confirm, i wanna go home in february!
Best place to eat in KL

1. CHOW KOAY TIEW - Jalan Imbi : the corner
restaurant which is on the
same row with Sakura, and opposite of Honda
Kah Motor.

2. WANTAN MEE/KARI MEE - End of old Subang
airport road, in the Subang
New
Village Town Centre.

3. TAPIOCA NOODLES& VEGETABLES - Old
Klang Road : a shack which is
nestled
behind a chinese primary school, after the market
and the post office
(which would be on your left).

4. KARI MEE (LEMAK) - SS1, PJ : Alisan
Restaurant (2nd shop from
corner),
facing the Lorenzo Furniture Shop.

5. ROAST DUCK RICE - Seapark : Sunrise Coffee
Shop

6. PRAWN MEE/KARIMEE/CHEE CHEONG
FUN - Seapark: Coffee Shop near old
Paramount Thea! tre.

7. CHICKEN RICE - Seapark: Coffee Shop
opposite Seapark Market, run by
2
ladies whose husbands have since died.

8. FISH HEAD BEE HOON - Jln Gasing, PJ.
Seng Kee Restaurant, in row of
shops behind Lotus Restaurant.

9. MISCELLANEOUS - SS24 Tmn Megah: take
the LDP and exit left after
the
Kelana Jaya LRT Station (towards"SS24").A
hawker centre with over 70
hawker stalls (!!) allserving different dishes, no
duplicates (!!),
which
boast the best of each kind in town (!!) not too
difficult to locate.

10. YONG TAU FU - Ampang New Town/Ampang
Village (there are 3 shops,
so
have your pick)

11. PAN MEE - Along Jalan Tuanku Abdul
Rahman behind KahMotors.

12. HOKKIEN MEE - Petaling Street opposite
Hong Leong Bank

13. CHAR SIEW RICE - Jalan Tung Shin

14. NASI KANDAR - Kayu Nasi Kandar
Restaurant in Taipan, Subang with a
branch in SS2 a coffee shop formerly known as
Cheow Yang

15. Teh Tarak & roti - Taman Desa next to the
water tank

16. If money is not an issue - Madam Kwan (Nasi
Lemak & curry fish
head)

17. Little Penang (chow Koay Tiew & Prawnmee)

18. Bak kut teh - Jalan Imbi behind hong leong
bank

19. Satay - Naan Corner in Ampang, in between
International School and
RSPCA, called Nur Satay.

20. Banana Leaf - Kannas in SS2, behind Lisa De
Inn hotel

21. Nasi Lemak - Suzi corner, next to Ampang
city (used to be called
Kerris)

22. Won Ton Mien/Char Siew - Jln Sungai Besi;
on the way to PLUS. Only
open at 7pm-2am, a car repair shop by day.

23. Beef Brisket noodles - Tengkat Tong Shin;
runs parallel to Jalan
Alor.Stall near the beginning of the road. Open at
night till late.

24. Char Siew/Chicken rice - Tengkat Tong Shin;
further up the road.
Old
prewar shop house. This has to be the drop dead
unhealthiest piece of
anything you can insert in your mouth in KL? but
to die for. Chicken
is
strictly as filler to make sure you don't get a heart
attack
overdosing on
char siew.

25. Fish balls - Tengkat Tong Shin; a little further
up the road from
char
siew. Stall inside a coffee shop. This guy is good,
look at the amount
of
people he employs to helpout!

26. Hokkien mee (KL style -thick, black, yummy
(sounds kinky))
Petaling
Street; at the intersection opposite Hong Leong
Bank. Full of porcine
goodness. Still the gold standard of Hokkien mee.

27. Seafood noodles - Segambut; near Auto
Bavaria. A big bowl full of
noodles and assorted mussels, prawns, cuttlefish,
fish etc. for
reasonable
price. Pick of soup, clear, tom yam, curry. Forget
the rest, or for
the
curry. Soya bean with cincau not bad. Avoid on
Sunday mornings.You
will
wait for an hour. Fried Chicken Rice (only on
Weds and Sat)!! There
is a
branch now open in SS2 Chow Yang, called
Restoran Yu Ai with yellow
sign
board, just a few doors away from Kayu Nasi
Kandar.

28. Ploughman's Lunch ? Finnegan's Seri
Hartamas. A big plate filled
with
a pot of pate, slices of ham, pickle, onion, chunks
of cheese, a slab
of
butter, 4 hunks of bread. If you are EXTREMELY
hungry, this one's for
you.

29. Chef's salad - Flagz; behind Souled Out. This
salad is as all
salads
should be - crunchy FRESH veggies, and the
dressing is to die for.
Easily
the best salad in town. And I don't even like salad.
Beer is the
freshest
in town too, great bite.

30. Hokkien Mee (Penang style otherwise known
as Prawn noodles)
Champ's;
Jalan Telawi 3, Bangsar Baru. Standard gone
down somewhat recently,
but
still head and shoulders above all others in KL.

You'll have to go to Penang to beat this.
31. Char Kway Teow Bukit Damansara; behind
Hock Lee supermarket, next
to
Shell. Corner stall inside coffee shop. Best in KL.
The fellow has
been
frying for longer than I can recall, and he is so
good that you may
have
to wait up to 45 minutes during lunchtime. Doesn't
use too much oil
almost
perfect. As above, you'll have to go to Penang to
beat this. Other
stalls
in the same shop not bad.

32. Chicken rice Jalan Gasing; very close to the
Federal Highway, same
row
as Southern Bank 2 shops one in the middle, one
in the corner. Can't
decide which is superior, but both are very good.
Middle one has Ipoh
taugeh.

33. Bak Kut Teh Klang, just about anywhere.
Hokkien Association off
the
main highway leading to the heart of Klang is a
good place to start
for
beginners.

34. Dim Sum ? Marriott Hotel. Chinese restaurant
here serves northern
China style dim sum. Easily best dim sum in
town. A little pricey.

35. Fish head off Jalan Sungai Besi; just past
Won Ton Mien, turn left
right after BP. Three shops clumped together. All
look dilapidated but
don't worry. Don't know what type of fish they get
their heads from,
but I
suspect fresh water fish. Hot sauce fish head to
die for. Extremely
reasonable prices.

36. Bak Kut Teh Segambut; go past Auto Bavaria,
follow road all the
way
until you see a Chinese temple on your left. Enter
the temple
courtyard
and
you will see a tin shack where they serve bak kut
teh. Not quite up
there
with Klang, but nothing to sneeze at. Go for yam
rice rather than
white
rice. Fried Chicken Rice (only on Weds and Sat)!!

37. Nasi Kandar/Kerabu/Laut Taman Tun; the
other end of Secret Recipe
in a
store on the same block, usually with a van
outside. Truly Kelantanese
style. Only in the morning though.

38. Seafood ? Pulau Carey; get to Jalan Banting
and follow signs to
Pulau
Carey. Place called Kang Guan, just before the
actual bridge onto the
island. Cheap!

39. Nasi Lemak TangLin at Lake Gardens, near
the Clinic/Hospital. Only
open when government depts open.

40. Chicken rice - Bing Restaurant in Sri Rampai.
Wait till you drop
to
eat the chicken rice. Worth it

your system. Thank you