Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections
okay, when on average the sun rises at 8 am and it sets at 4...
so when it's cold, there are all sorts of strings keeping me in bed, away from the gloomy weather. my brain scans through all sorts of plausible excuses to get out of actually living the day... even my absolute favourite place in Dublin, the Dome takes on its own gloom of doom (the Dome has this beautiful glass roof that lets in the most amazing rays of sun if the timing is right. it's truly like having a small piece of heaven on earth!)
BUT there are always things to be thankful for....
1. everytime i stroll through Stephen's Green Mall, in hunt of my absolute essential, my GRAPES, the Christmas songs, Christmas trees never fail to life my spirits!
2. Grapes are now 3.49 euros! and i've been overcharged EVERYDAY for the past week. whenever i attempt to tell the cashier, the price is wrong, she'll pull an awful snoobish haughty brash expression that makes me feel like a stingy bitch. one lady 'kindly' told me to take the issue up with the customer service.. and what do you know, i got a full refund cause i was overcharged after closer investigation! :-) so now,i do still attempt to correct the cashier, but the moment any of them pulls a "greater-than-thou' expression, i gleefully pick up my grapes and proceed to customer service! :-)
3. I've been slaving over my project. Thing is, besides the main subject content, a HUGE percentage comes from this report on our efficiency as a group i.e. Belbin roles, group conflict and how we "miraculously utilised our group rules" to overcome such things. truth be told, some group mates are content in completing their own parts and leaving the loose ends (and they're a handful mind you, search strategy, meeting reports, 4 groups tasks, determining peer review marks and reasons, piecing everyone's work together...) to someone else, or maybe they dont or are not even interested in knowing about the existence of other parts of the project. Another kind, are the ones who do their work, but soooo incompetently that everyone else ends up working even harder to cover up for their lack of (i shall refrain from inserting any word here, cause as hard as i try, there's never a good word to cushion the blow)... And yet another kind are the ones who breeze in apparently too busy to check emails to find out about tasks, but these ppl dont lack competency, just interest and motivation.
BUT good thing is, i'm DONE with everything i could possibly do for the project. all that's left is referencing but this other group mate of mine is completing it. which. is. taking. forever. but where's the surprise there ya?
4. I recently started attending whitefriar church on aungier street. i saw sylvia in the choir on the 2nd week i was there. then the following week, the choir director encouraged anyone who wanted to serve in the choir to come up. and hey, i DID! :-) so last sunday was my first service. :-) the priest actually thanked the choir, but i was gently reminded not to expect such a 'fulfilling reward' after EVERY mass. :-) but practice is on Thursday nights and it's crazily unbelievably uplifting. i've always loved singing at church, and mummy used to say i used to many inaudible noises even as a toddler. but never dared to deem my voice worthy of a choir. That and the fact that going for practice at St John's was quite tedious. so Sunday School was the obvious and easy way of serving God. but hopefully things will be different when i go back this Feb!
5. I used to be the kind to always need ppl around me. First day in INTEC, i rushed around our Akasia block making friends, saying hi to almost all the girls there. Even in St John's, though we Melawatians made up the majority in Sc 1, i remember quite scaring ChiFei and before long, ppl started thinking he was a fellow Melawatian! :-) Even in RCSI, the first year, i seldom needed to tolerate being alone. But in the 2nd year, everyone but everyone had their own agenda. i was unfamiliar with the loneliness, but i got to know Alex, Naren, Lorraine and Kenneth really well then. when i was alone, it was a conscious effort to not bug other ppl, or just a general depressed feeling. i even ended up going home for christmas cause i was soooooooo uneasy. but this year, i enjoy my solace. even when there are things for me to do, or ppl to see, i find it's not uncommon for me to prefer being on my own. :-) it's quite an amazing way to unwind, email my sister, send my mom and sister songs, call some friends and relatives back home... Just when i'm getting used to being independent, i'm going back! hehe
6. I'm going back in Feb!! Our JPA officer said we'll head abt somewhere Mid Feb. before Chinese New Year. hehehe Yippie doo? ?
7. I'm going to London to visit Ei Leen in December! that equals seeing EiLeen after soooooo long, our long chats, hopefully our shopping excursions, Boxing Day in London! hehe i've seen London, but it's been ages since i saw you, Girl!
8. I finally completed our compulsory 10 sign-up-at-your-own-leisure-but-at-your-group's-stipulated-slots-ONLY!!
9. My sister is happy. :-) My brother's driving. Christmas is upon my family, so i'm sure they're happy. That's reason enough to be happy....
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
:-) a post!
i was lazing in bed this morning, then i suddenly recalled this craze we girls (some guys too actually) used to have... well 2 things actually...
1. autograph craze...
short catchy 4 liners cropped up and suddenly it was about who had the most creative signature (i rmbr Ezlin Deanna have THE most creative signatureS-ezlin came up with many signatures and no one's could even compare!) and poems like
Drink hot coffee, drink hot tea,
Burn your lips and remember me.
(F)riendship (R)emains (A)nd (N)ever (C)an (E)nd
Do not put off this tomorrow what may be done today (this used to spur me on to impulsive acts, some of the more memorable ones involved certain vulnerable feelings, confessions to a said hot guy (though nowadays, when i look back on my crushes, i find myself thinking 'what was i thinking???"), and ultimately dejected and bruised esteem due to rejection, or at odd times, reciprocated feelings and ultimately boredom. :-)
2. the infamous F.L.A.M.E and .F.C.H.L
ok so heres what they stand for (F)riendship (C)ourtship (H)atred (L)ove
(F)rienship (L)ove (A)dmiration (M)arriage (E)ngagement
and the percentage count
------>all supposedly to interpret the course of our connection with a hot guy (or non hot also, where we hope for the hatred so avoid any linkage and to disprove rumors) from how the letters in our names line up against each other.
just for illustration's sake, i'll borrow two characters
A.R.I.E.L.
E.R.I.C
so cancelling out common letters, it'dp be
A.*.*.*.L
*.*.*.C
so counting the F.L.A.M.E. first on the cancelled letters, then on the non-cancelled out ones, we have
A-H-L-C and
A-H-F-F
Interpretation ----> Ariel would first (A)dmire Eric, then (H)ate him, then (L)ove him then wanna (C)ourt him
In the same course of time, Eric would (A)dmire Ariel, then reciprocate the (H)atred, then only want (F)riendship both when she loves and wanna court him.
the percentage game...
there's a total of
A=1, R=2, I=2, E=2, L=1, C=1
so 1+2, 2+2, 1+1 would equal
3,4,2
adding 3+4, 2 would equal
72%
in conclusion, Ariel and Eric would have a compatibility of 72%!
isn't it just fun???
:-) i was reading Lorraine's post on weight issue among women and no one would believe me if i were to say i'm above such nonsense. the hype on this issue, esp among mental health conscious medical students is escalating. and 2 thoughts occurred to me.
1. back home, among nonmedical ppl, weight loss would be heralded and sincere and some less sincere compliments would abound as it's undeniable that healthy weight loss is not only highly beneficial health-wise, but there's a huge margin of weight loss in which no one can honestly proclaim to look worse. granted, there's a point when ppl cross the line into looking sickly and ghastly scrawny, but i find it to be a very hard temptation to resist, esp when it's relatively easy to lose weight to look good. Guys, on the other hand, need to eat protein-rich diets, and lift weights to buff up, but at the same time, not looking too buff. it's truly not easy.
2. i bought a christmas dress yesterday, at such a bargain too, and while i was in the process of letting go of the preoccupation i have with wanting to look good, it just felt soooo nice to be able to fit and not have unsightly bulges.
DeepaRaya
am trying to upload photos here, but do proceed to my dear dear friend, Alex Ong's blog for photos. :-) i can't seem to upload mine...
http://pandaong86.livejournal.com
thula and i. i think thula looks so great here!
i took a pic with Saravanan last year too! but this pic depicts my entire baju kedah!
Alex Ong!
JunMay and i
ravi kumar
sylvia
shinshen
abhilash!
Oh i've been plagued by horrible migraines and a very bad attack of conjunctivitis.
I overused my contact lenses, but it wasn't a grossly long overstay, just a week over a month, when i use my lenses up to 2 months back home! well, it became bloodshot,and LaySan warned me that i had better get it checked for fear of it developing into an ulcer. for the very first time in my life, i was so worried to get my health checked. i dropped eye drops in my eyes and still it didn't subside. i had to don my specs for 3 days! hehe
i admittedly do get very self conscious and not feel my optimal self in specs, but i also can't look at ppl in the eye. i tend to keep the world at bay when i wear specs. but the good news is that it's healing... the moral of the story is pretty apparent ya?
so that's it for now... :-)
Mr Daniel Khong!!! blog, baby! :-) and i never heard abt ur gift u know...
Miss Gracie Snowflakes, i miss you so much!
Sharon Tay, Ms Vice President, please update...
Lionel Tessenshon, thanks for always remembering me...
Mr Alex Ong, sorry for borrowing ur blog post without prior permission!
Miss Lorraine Thong, do keep ur blog posts coming, dear...
Miss Amanda Khoo, thanks for all your help, girl!
Gracey Moo, thanks for always always updating ur blog. it's really something i look forward to reading everyday, and draw inspiration to keep Jesus in everything i do, like u always do!
Miss Karen Looi, heard u looked stunning at the Ambassador's open hse, girl.. do post photos!
Shen-Han, i dont know if u blog or even if u visit here, but so sorry i didnt get to properly catch up the other day... was very very delighted to see an old pal. really happy actually!
I'm not sure who else reads this blog... and i do have a lot of other shout outs to other ppl on my mind, but oh well...
better keep them to myself for now! :-)
---->Bimbo Songs
Cater to You - Destiny's Child
Wishing and Hoping - OST My Best Friend's Wedding
vs
===>
You Don't Own Me - OST First Wives' Club
1. autograph craze...
short catchy 4 liners cropped up and suddenly it was about who had the most creative signature (i rmbr Ezlin Deanna have THE most creative signatureS-ezlin came up with many signatures and no one's could even compare!) and poems like
Drink hot coffee, drink hot tea,
Burn your lips and remember me.
(F)riendship (R)emains (A)nd (N)ever (C)an (E)nd
Do not put off this tomorrow what may be done today (this used to spur me on to impulsive acts, some of the more memorable ones involved certain vulnerable feelings, confessions to a said hot guy (though nowadays, when i look back on my crushes, i find myself thinking 'what was i thinking???"), and ultimately dejected and bruised esteem due to rejection, or at odd times, reciprocated feelings and ultimately boredom. :-)
2. the infamous F.L.A.M.E and .F.C.H.L
ok so heres what they stand for (F)riendship (C)ourtship (H)atred (L)ove
(F)rienship (L)ove (A)dmiration (M)arriage (E)ngagement
and the percentage count
------>all supposedly to interpret the course of our connection with a hot guy (or non hot also, where we hope for the hatred so avoid any linkage and to disprove rumors) from how the letters in our names line up against each other.
just for illustration's sake, i'll borrow two characters
A.R.I.E.L.
E.R.I.C
so cancelling out common letters, it'dp be
A.*.*.*.L
*.*.*.C
so counting the F.L.A.M.E. first on the cancelled letters, then on the non-cancelled out ones, we have
A-H-L-C and
A-H-F-F
Interpretation ----> Ariel would first (A)dmire Eric, then (H)ate him, then (L)ove him then wanna (C)ourt him
In the same course of time, Eric would (A)dmire Ariel, then reciprocate the (H)atred, then only want (F)riendship both when she loves and wanna court him.
the percentage game...
there's a total of
A=1, R=2, I=2, E=2, L=1, C=1
so 1+2, 2+2, 1+1 would equal
3,4,2
adding 3+4, 2 would equal
72%
in conclusion, Ariel and Eric would have a compatibility of 72%!
isn't it just fun???
:-) i was reading Lorraine's post on weight issue among women and no one would believe me if i were to say i'm above such nonsense. the hype on this issue, esp among mental health conscious medical students is escalating. and 2 thoughts occurred to me.
1. back home, among nonmedical ppl, weight loss would be heralded and sincere and some less sincere compliments would abound as it's undeniable that healthy weight loss is not only highly beneficial health-wise, but there's a huge margin of weight loss in which no one can honestly proclaim to look worse. granted, there's a point when ppl cross the line into looking sickly and ghastly scrawny, but i find it to be a very hard temptation to resist, esp when it's relatively easy to lose weight to look good. Guys, on the other hand, need to eat protein-rich diets, and lift weights to buff up, but at the same time, not looking too buff. it's truly not easy.
2. i bought a christmas dress yesterday, at such a bargain too, and while i was in the process of letting go of the preoccupation i have with wanting to look good, it just felt soooo nice to be able to fit and not have unsightly bulges.
DeepaRaya
am trying to upload photos here, but do proceed to my dear dear friend, Alex Ong's blog for photos. :-) i can't seem to upload mine...
http://pandaong86.livejournal.com
thula and i. i think thula looks so great here!
i took a pic with Saravanan last year too! but this pic depicts my entire baju kedah!
Alex Ong!
JunMay and i
ravi kumar
sylvia
shinshen
abhilash!Oh i've been plagued by horrible migraines and a very bad attack of conjunctivitis.
I overused my contact lenses, but it wasn't a grossly long overstay, just a week over a month, when i use my lenses up to 2 months back home! well, it became bloodshot,and LaySan warned me that i had better get it checked for fear of it developing into an ulcer. for the very first time in my life, i was so worried to get my health checked. i dropped eye drops in my eyes and still it didn't subside. i had to don my specs for 3 days! hehe
i admittedly do get very self conscious and not feel my optimal self in specs, but i also can't look at ppl in the eye. i tend to keep the world at bay when i wear specs. but the good news is that it's healing... the moral of the story is pretty apparent ya?
so that's it for now... :-)
Mr Daniel Khong!!! blog, baby! :-) and i never heard abt ur gift u know...
Miss Gracie Snowflakes, i miss you so much!
Sharon Tay, Ms Vice President, please update...
Lionel Tessenshon, thanks for always remembering me...
Mr Alex Ong, sorry for borrowing ur blog post without prior permission!
Miss Lorraine Thong, do keep ur blog posts coming, dear...
Miss Amanda Khoo, thanks for all your help, girl!
Gracey Moo, thanks for always always updating ur blog. it's really something i look forward to reading everyday, and draw inspiration to keep Jesus in everything i do, like u always do!
Miss Karen Looi, heard u looked stunning at the Ambassador's open hse, girl.. do post photos!
Shen-Han, i dont know if u blog or even if u visit here, but so sorry i didnt get to properly catch up the other day... was very very delighted to see an old pal. really happy actually!
I'm not sure who else reads this blog... and i do have a lot of other shout outs to other ppl on my mind, but oh well...
better keep them to myself for now! :-)
---->Bimbo Songs
Cater to You - Destiny's Child
Wishing and Hoping - OST My Best Friend's Wedding
vs
===>
You Don't Own Me - OST First Wives' Club
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
bubblewrap them
1. 3rd week in college. i dont know why but i've been so fatigued the past two days. i'm too tired to do move or do anything and all i really wanna do is snuggle up in my bed. But i have lunch and dinner to think about so i drag myself out of bed to eat and to go to college, but at the end of the day, i'm beat! like now...
2. i've been to dublin one quite often the past few days, i like the extra exercise it affords me. but the summer erased the negativity i used to feel towards the pungency of irish cigarette smoke. it's realy really awful. one can't walk along henry or grafton street and expect a headful of hair that doesn't smell like smoke. they huff and puff away with absolutely no regard to how many years they're shaving off our lives, and how much closer they're placing us to the pain and torture of lung cancer! that's why i feel we should put a bubble helmet around these ppl. that way, we don't need to inhale the remnants and waste products of their unhealthy habit, they can keep the tobacco and tar smoke they so love (so it's actually saving money cause they'd be recycling the tar and nicotine which would be let loose to the environment that way. it's probably save them half the time for the journey to lung cancer of which they're so adamant on partaking, a journey that we shouldn't be forced to accompany them on! my apologies to smokers out there who do keep their habits from killing us, and just keep it to themselves, but i really do hate have to inhale the smoke the people walking in front of me puff out and the smell my hair retains after a walk out.
3. the haze is another thing, don't get me started!
4. i've found a new place, Grafton Hall. it's an amazingly beautiful place. will furnish my blog with pictures once i move in. i'm really excited!
and i apologise for how boring this post must be without photos. but i figured since i eagerly await updates on other people's blogs, i should update mine, though i doubt anyone out there is as fanatical about blogs as i am... :-)
2. i've been to dublin one quite often the past few days, i like the extra exercise it affords me. but the summer erased the negativity i used to feel towards the pungency of irish cigarette smoke. it's realy really awful. one can't walk along henry or grafton street and expect a headful of hair that doesn't smell like smoke. they huff and puff away with absolutely no regard to how many years they're shaving off our lives, and how much closer they're placing us to the pain and torture of lung cancer! that's why i feel we should put a bubble helmet around these ppl. that way, we don't need to inhale the remnants and waste products of their unhealthy habit, they can keep the tobacco and tar smoke they so love (so it's actually saving money cause they'd be recycling the tar and nicotine which would be let loose to the environment that way. it's probably save them half the time for the journey to lung cancer of which they're so adamant on partaking, a journey that we shouldn't be forced to accompany them on! my apologies to smokers out there who do keep their habits from killing us, and just keep it to themselves, but i really do hate have to inhale the smoke the people walking in front of me puff out and the smell my hair retains after a walk out.
3. the haze is another thing, don't get me started!
4. i've found a new place, Grafton Hall. it's an amazingly beautiful place. will furnish my blog with pictures once i move in. i'm really excited!
and i apologise for how boring this post must be without photos. but i figured since i eagerly await updates on other people's blogs, i should update mine, though i doubt anyone out there is as fanatical about blogs as i am... :-)
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Superiority of the younger
i think my toes aren't as ugly anymore. hehe it's one day before the new term commences and for the very first time in my life, i feel very well rested, that my break was well spent! :-) i'd probably only say that now, ask me again tmrw evening and it'd probably be a whole different story! but that aside, i loved my summer! it was amazing and while i can't list down a hectic itinerary to tell tall tales of adventure, mishap and mischief, the thoughts of summer brings a definite smile to my face and a warm feeling to my heart. my mother was amazing! and my dad and brother. and my sister, even when she went to india.
the flight back here was horrendous!! i decided to take the KLCAT to the airport this time cause i really didnt wanna trouble my parents with the long drive to KLIA and back. also, i figured who knows, the MAS ground staff at KL Sentral might just be kinder than the airport's. and by golly gosh (hehe!) i was right! when i flew back to Dublin after Christmas, i had a 24 kg luggage and the MEAN lady made me remove stuff till it was 20! but in KLSentral, the KIND lady allowed me 21.6 kgs and told me (after i bodekly apologised profusely stating honestly and sincerely that my weighing scale back home showed just 20, and, this i didn't tell her but imagine the horrors going thru my mind as to my real BODY mass!), she said MAS allows 25 kgs! so after bravely bidding goodbye to my beloved mummy and daddy, i was off to KLIA!
AT KLIA
i made it to the lounge by 10, my flight was at 11.40. they didnt open the lounge till 11! crazy ppl. but the xray scan was ok. i carried one laptop bag and a carry on. i was seated beside this australian by citizenship, indian-welsh by genetics lady and her welsh mother. they were mediocrely nice, and they gave me a small kangaroo at the end of the trip! ehhe only whilst queuing up in Heathrow did i wonder what if they slipped some drugs in the cutesy kangaaroo??? hehe but thank goodness they didn't.
AT HEATHROW!!!!
as we took off one hour later cause interestingly, the pilot couldn't get in touch with the air traffic control tower, i arrived one hour late with only one hour to spare before my connecting flight. the bi**h of an air stewardness dismissedly told me that everyone had a connecting flight and pretty much told me to stop making a fuss. I WILL BE MAKING AN OFFICIAL COMPLAINT to MAS once i settle in my own room! upon arrival, i learnt i had to squeeze one of my bags into another and make it fit the measurements stipulated with the latest stringent ruling. so i arranged and rearranged (i kinda had the inclination of what fitting a corset must have been like) and i got through!!! just when i thought my ordeal was over, the security xray. so i missed my flight. the groun staff had rescheduled another flight for me but BY GOLLY GOSH (hehe) was i worried about my cargo luggage. but i was pleasantly surprised when my bag emerged on the carousel. hehe i felt like my pretty bag was smiling up at me, and this time i had the inclination of what being a new parent must feel like! hehehe
after seeing the beach, i went to church on saturday. it was slightly longer but i figured it beats waking up early on a sunday. this time the priest gave a homily on how biblically, the younger sibling always emerged with God's favour. for example, Cain and Abel, Martha and Mary, the prodigal son and his brother, joseph and his brothers, Esau and Jacob, Rachel and i forgot her sister's name so on and so forth. (wah, at that point i felt so depressed and doomed for mediocrisy in life!). but the priest went on to explain some guy's theory on how the parents have the superior and another trait to pass on to the kids, and the older ones tend to inherit the superior trait (fixed leadership executive traits to handle and mind the younger ones) while the younger ones inherit the trait that allows them to be risktakers and more open to changes and criticism. so the priest concluded that we need to be more open. i inferred and here i summarise "Let Go and Let God"
(this rainbow's for gracie!)which reminds me, i went for mass in Good Shepherd setapak and i love it there! the homily, the priest (which ahem ahem is my mother's cousin hehe), the choir and cute slides. i commited one to memory
"I never said it would be easy, i only said it would be worth it"
With that, ladies and gentlemen, i rest my case. hehe
wish me luck with the new term! muax!
(in Ireland within just a few hours. i think it's just crazy)oh btw, the pictures have no relevence to the text they precede.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
pretty things in nice packages!
hehe i've known a lot of guys in my life, and i dont mean romantically. i just make it a point to know ppl, and how i'm linked to ppl. i guess i really like it when i find out that the world is actually very small, and it never fails to amaze me everytime i find a link. that's why, i guess, friendster's my fav website. that, and the interesting gossip updates one can get without even having to ask and sound like a nosy biatch. hehe
gosh, im so terpesong-ing. hehe well my point was that, i liked to scan and get a feel of the scene (i.e. cute eligible guys at a particular location), jsut for networking and sometimes to matchmake with my friends! hehe and melawati DOES have their bountiful share of hot guys, trust me! hehe so growing up, i've seen some guys grow out of their hotness, while some just nicely grow up. hehe but as time passed, i began to lose hope in mankind with the dwindling amount of hot guys with stellar personalities and intelligence to dazzle. i thought i had met them all, and that was it. boy, did things look bleak.
but guess what!?! i could not be more wrong!! hehe these guys are pretty much guaranteed out of my or anyone close to me's reach. but they're living proof that brains do still indeed come in nice packages! hehe
1. Wentworth Miller (they come in no particular order, i swear, looks or brains!)
those who read my more recent posts would know of my obsession with his eyes, his hands, his brooding looks. hehe the whole hot package! i think i read somewhere that he's some sort of intelligent fella in real life too. not just in Prisonbreak in which he's a topshot structural engineer. oh ya, if my memory serves me correctly, in REAL life he has a degree in English which he completed waaaay before even venturing into acting. talk about knowing his priorities! hehe just Look at him! who can say he doesnt have the whole package?? God IS kind! hehe
2. Wang Lee Hom
i always knew at the back of my mind that this guy's pretty good looking. but i thot he was another chinese pop singer who crooned in a language i didnt understand, what more attempt to groove to. hehe but this summerr, his face is everywhere! hehe kind like a "take a closer look at me" kinda msg (yes, wishful thinking on my part, i know.. ehhe ). he's on Fossil's advertisements, and his amazingly macho voice almost manages to tempt me to ditch my 7 year loyalty to DiGi for Celcom! hehe he's cut out as the golden heir of a medical dynasty with his dad a pediatrician, his brother some doctor too. he won some top award for being an outstanding high school student and was on his wya to study medicine in Yale i think, but followed his heart into music in Berkeley and he aced it too. he plays a multitude of musical instruments. hehe if he didnt, we wont get to swoon over him, globally! and since he is an American, he speaks English innately! PERFECTION!!!
3. Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor
hehe i read the news on our very first Malaysian astronaut and you can be sure i'd be tuning in really intently for updates on this astronomical breakthrough! hehe a Medical officer who lectures at HUKM whilst pursuing his Masters in orthopaedic medicine, he chose space travel and is putting his life on hold. he is really really HOT! hehe i mean, just look at him! hehe if i were fitter, and maybe a little older, i'd wanna know where to sign up to 'work' with him on his amazingly challenging pursuit of his dream. hehe i'd be his personal cheerleader! hehe
(p/s pics off the Star online!)
so there. 3 guys who restored my faith in hot intelligent men. hehe what do you think?
gosh, im so terpesong-ing. hehe well my point was that, i liked to scan and get a feel of the scene (i.e. cute eligible guys at a particular location), jsut for networking and sometimes to matchmake with my friends! hehe and melawati DOES have their bountiful share of hot guys, trust me! hehe so growing up, i've seen some guys grow out of their hotness, while some just nicely grow up. hehe but as time passed, i began to lose hope in mankind with the dwindling amount of hot guys with stellar personalities and intelligence to dazzle. i thought i had met them all, and that was it. boy, did things look bleak.
but guess what!?! i could not be more wrong!! hehe these guys are pretty much guaranteed out of my or anyone close to me's reach. but they're living proof that brains do still indeed come in nice packages! hehe
1. Wentworth Miller (they come in no particular order, i swear, looks or brains!)
those who read my more recent posts would know of my obsession with his eyes, his hands, his brooding looks. hehe the whole hot package! i think i read somewhere that he's some sort of intelligent fella in real life too. not just in Prisonbreak in which he's a topshot structural engineer. oh ya, if my memory serves me correctly, in REAL life he has a degree in English which he completed waaaay before even venturing into acting. talk about knowing his priorities! hehe just Look at him! who can say he doesnt have the whole package?? God IS kind! hehe
2. Wang Lee Hom
i always knew at the back of my mind that this guy's pretty good looking. but i thot he was another chinese pop singer who crooned in a language i didnt understand, what more attempt to groove to. hehe but this summerr, his face is everywhere! hehe kind like a "take a closer look at me" kinda msg (yes, wishful thinking on my part, i know.. ehhe ). he's on Fossil's advertisements, and his amazingly macho voice almost manages to tempt me to ditch my 7 year loyalty to DiGi for Celcom! hehe he's cut out as the golden heir of a medical dynasty with his dad a pediatrician, his brother some doctor too. he won some top award for being an outstanding high school student and was on his wya to study medicine in Yale i think, but followed his heart into music in Berkeley and he aced it too. he plays a multitude of musical instruments. hehe if he didnt, we wont get to swoon over him, globally! and since he is an American, he speaks English innately! PERFECTION!!!
3. Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor
hehe i read the news on our very first Malaysian astronaut and you can be sure i'd be tuning in really intently for updates on this astronomical breakthrough! hehe a Medical officer who lectures at HUKM whilst pursuing his Masters in orthopaedic medicine, he chose space travel and is putting his life on hold. he is really really HOT! hehe i mean, just look at him! hehe if i were fitter, and maybe a little older, i'd wanna know where to sign up to 'work' with him on his amazingly challenging pursuit of his dream. hehe i'd be his personal cheerleader! hehe
(p/s pics off the Star online!)
so there. 3 guys who restored my faith in hot intelligent men. hehe what do you think?
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
the weight issue...
how much weight is too much and how much weight LOSS is too much?
- well time for a reflective post. i think that a blog warrants that much, ya? after all, if im just gonna scribble what i did for my hols, i think it shows im a lazy person, and i might as well not keep a blog! :-)
when i was young, there was a time when ppl used to think i had an eating disorder, cause i was really thin. but the thing is, during that time, ppl actually thought i looked good.
then i had my appendix out, and i was bed-bound for quite a long period of time, had to stay off solids for as long as possible. hehe so thats when i developed my attachment to KFC mash potato! :-) it was delicious and practically the only nice tasting soft food i could eat. i was 9. so naturally, without realising it, as weight had never been an issue for me, i put on a lot of weight. it didnt help that i started wearing glasses when i was 10!i changed schools to SK Tmn Melawati 2 and my confidence in my physical attractiveness plummeted and i resorted to feeling good about excelling at school.
when i entered high school, i was really big. but since i channeled all my energy to my studies, i did really well... i'm a perfectionist at heart, but it just depends which channel gets all my efforts. i used to memorise my sejarah word for word. one had to only mention the heading of a mini-chapter and i'd rattle off all the points word for word! there was a table in world geography and i cud just rattle off each and every place listed. it was scary how much i put into my studies. guys weren't much on the menu for me. hehe well, i did have a pretty serious crush, but since i was so unattractive, i never got to do anything about it.
in Form 2, Andrew and the guys told me that i scared the guys. well i think they wrote it in this book EiLeen started, where we got to write what we thought of other ppl in class. that kinda jolted me to enjoy my youth! i started paying less attention to my studies, and more to friends. when i went for Confirmation Camp, i made friends and felt good about myself. Gracie was the vain and pretty one, and since i could never compare, at parties, no one would even bother looking at me. i was the ugly, the fat one...even when my mom got the both of us contact lenses, i never wore mine.
then this one guy made a lot of changes in my life. he gave me ambition and among other things, his friendship made me more conscious of my looks and made me wanna look good. :-) so i did. i dont know how i lost the weight but i did. the tight prefect skirts, could suddenly fit properly. i even started wearing my lenses in form 5!
the period after SPM was the best months of my life! :-) i got my straight A1s (which made me feel absolutely brilliant!! hahahaha ), i got my tokoh pelajar (the much coveted and sought after award that i never thought was within my grasp!), then i went to St John's. hehe the scholarships started pouring in (even ASEAN which was just amazing!), i never felt more confident than at those months. the friends i made st johns were for keeps, Lionel being one of them! :-) it was the most amazing 2 months ever la.
then i went to INTEC. i didnt exactly think much about my weight then, i just kinda accepted i was plum, though some comments about how i was fat hurt me (from Ganesh, even something Shen-Han told wee loon once)... but i never actually let it get to me, i guess i was still riding high on the amazing months after form 5!:-)
then after INTEC, i broke up with my ex. what i went through made me drop pounds without even realising it! i took quite a number of photos before i left for Dublin, and i really liked how i looked then! so i left for Dublin not exactly the top form emotionally, but definitely still confident.
In Dublin, the trouble started.
i went through quite a lot. i never minded what i ate, so i ignorantly, kept up that attitude in Dublin. i used to binge and finish one whole loaf of bread, eventhough i had already eaten lunch! i'd store packets of chocolate chip cookies, tesco chocolate wafers, cadbury chocolates and at night when i was alone in the room, i'd chomp down on them! 
even when i realised i was gaining weight, i'd still gobble them all down! it was so scary that i could actually tell myself not to eat, but when i was alone at night, it was like someone took over my body and i just couldn't control it, and i'd eat and only stop when the packet was empty! it didnt help that Dunnes carried one euro biscuits!
just before i left to go see ei leen in London, i weighed myself in Frances' apartment and i was a whooping 6*kgs! i was scared, i was as heavy as i was in high school! even my pants didnt fit anymore. i had to squeeze myself into slacks with fat bulging out, and i even bought a new pair of pants from gap when i was in London. i didnt know what to do, so i tried to shed the pounds on holiday but anyone with logical thinking would know that's virtually impossible. i returned to dublin looking like a whale. or an elephant. hehe whichever is more ghastly! i went to the rcsi ball looking like a huge whale! even then, i went though an emotional turmoil (loads of issues sent me into depression) and continue chomping down pizzas, cream of mushroom and garlic bread during study breaks!
when i returned home, my mom had the shock of her life!
(eugene took this pic on an outing just before i came home)
i didnt really watch what i ate during that summer, but i went swimming with my mom and the pound dropped. but very slowly. emotionally, i was still a wreck. i refused to see my old school friends for a month when i came back. :-) but i think either they remember what i looked like in high school, or they're just real dolls. they didnt poke fun at me, or even laugh. i went to KLCC with Lorraine and we even got a free ice cream waffle! :-) so my confidence was undergoing repair, after all the abuse it had undergone in Dublin. i was hurt, and i ate to cover the hurt. that led to almost non-existent self esteem. and there really wasn't anyone i could turn to for help. Nal was going through her beloved grandfather's passing, and i knew if i were to tell my mom, it'd only worry her, and i really didnt want that when i was so far away. but being home, was amazing! :-) i was still fat, but like before it didnt bother me and i gained a little confidence.
when i returned to dublin during my 2nd year, i had lost a bulk of the weight i had gained, btu i was still big. so i hit the gym, and first prof really drained me. i hardly had time to eat. i was shedding the weight and i was beginning to regain esteem.
Christmas that year, i came back. Dublin has only been associated with depression for me. i dont recall ever being happy in dublin. i couldn't take the stress i was under, so i came home for christmas. i was happy at home.
but when i had to return to dublin for my First Profs, my mom understood the stress i was under, so she came to visit me. and it really really helped me alot!
when Beaumont started, ppl used to talk about my having an eating disorder cause i wasnt eating right. when i was bingeing and putting on weight, no one thought to tell me (except my best friend EiLeen who warned me when i first sent her photos of Dublin). but now that i was on the other side of the spectrum, losing weight, they decide to be concerned. Nal lost a lot of weight and she's really more confident and happy with herself now. they talked more about her. and she's right when she said these ppl weren't bothered when she was plump and not eating. but now that she was losing weight, they started talking. but there's more to it than just losing weight. i know of ppl who are blessed with high metabolisms, like my college friend, WaiQuen! :-) she's very lucky in that she can just eat whatever she wants and not put on an ounce of fat.
i didnt let it get to me. as i was shedding the pounds, i was gaining my confidence. no one knows what i went through. the emotional roller coaster and the absence of confidence. it's like people are just waiting for you to put on weight, so that they can shake their heads, laugh inside(some would just not care and laugh outwardly), and perhaps feel good about themselves. while i'd like to be able to help ppl maintain their self esteem, this time i'm going to be selfish and think about my own self confidence! believe me when i say i'd like to be able to not care about what i eat, but i've been where it's dark, when i just eat and eat without any self control. and i hated feeling like what i did at that time.
I'm in the prime of my life (or maybe slightly past it la...), and soon wrinkles and grey hair will start to plague me. i could even have kids and say bye to ever being of nice shape. :-) i'll never regain my youth, and while i hope to grow old gracefully, very few are blessed with that advantage. my sister bought me two seasons of One Tree Hill, and i think it's a very good show. not only for the plot, or the hot chad michael murray, but cause the girls are not stick thin but still stunning. it motivates me to achieving a realistic and healthy goal, and promotes a very very healthy body image. i know i dont wanna be huge, but i also need the correct guidance to know when thin is too thin.
when we go through something very very difficult, or get hurt, we retaliate by taking measures to ensure that never happens again. it's human nature. from dublin, i've learnt to never simply trust ppl, cause i got hurt. and i've learnt i never wanna have to gorge and be fat unnecessarily, and have no self esteem. it's avoidable. it's an awful place to be in. some ppl are naturally satisfied with how they look and i'm not advocating that big ppl can't be confident. but personally, i know i just don't have the innate inner self confidence to pull that off, or enough good friends around me to help me proud of myself even when i'm a whale. it's not something i'm ready or equipped to deal with. i know i'm not starving myself. i guess the message i'm trying to put across is that i can kinda get how one could become anorexic, especially perfectionists. they expect perfection from themselves in every aspect, if possible. i'm not condoning it, but let's just say, i'm more emphatic to their plight now... and i know now, more than ever, we can't judge ppl, cause no one really knows the whole story, the complete truth. so dont be so quick to play jury. concern for a friend is a whole other issue, of course. but before talking about ppl, be honest with yourself, is it really true genuine concern?
- well time for a reflective post. i think that a blog warrants that much, ya? after all, if im just gonna scribble what i did for my hols, i think it shows im a lazy person, and i might as well not keep a blog! :-)
when i was young, there was a time when ppl used to think i had an eating disorder, cause i was really thin. but the thing is, during that time, ppl actually thought i looked good.
then i had my appendix out, and i was bed-bound for quite a long period of time, had to stay off solids for as long as possible. hehe so thats when i developed my attachment to KFC mash potato! :-) it was delicious and practically the only nice tasting soft food i could eat. i was 9. so naturally, without realising it, as weight had never been an issue for me, i put on a lot of weight. it didnt help that i started wearing glasses when i was 10!i changed schools to SK Tmn Melawati 2 and my confidence in my physical attractiveness plummeted and i resorted to feeling good about excelling at school.
when i entered high school, i was really big. but since i channeled all my energy to my studies, i did really well... i'm a perfectionist at heart, but it just depends which channel gets all my efforts. i used to memorise my sejarah word for word. one had to only mention the heading of a mini-chapter and i'd rattle off all the points word for word! there was a table in world geography and i cud just rattle off each and every place listed. it was scary how much i put into my studies. guys weren't much on the menu for me. hehe well, i did have a pretty serious crush, but since i was so unattractive, i never got to do anything about it.
in Form 2, Andrew and the guys told me that i scared the guys. well i think they wrote it in this book EiLeen started, where we got to write what we thought of other ppl in class. that kinda jolted me to enjoy my youth! i started paying less attention to my studies, and more to friends. when i went for Confirmation Camp, i made friends and felt good about myself. Gracie was the vain and pretty one, and since i could never compare, at parties, no one would even bother looking at me. i was the ugly, the fat one...even when my mom got the both of us contact lenses, i never wore mine.
then this one guy made a lot of changes in my life. he gave me ambition and among other things, his friendship made me more conscious of my looks and made me wanna look good. :-) so i did. i dont know how i lost the weight but i did. the tight prefect skirts, could suddenly fit properly. i even started wearing my lenses in form 5!
the period after SPM was the best months of my life! :-) i got my straight A1s (which made me feel absolutely brilliant!! hahahaha ), i got my tokoh pelajar (the much coveted and sought after award that i never thought was within my grasp!), then i went to St John's. hehe the scholarships started pouring in (even ASEAN which was just amazing!), i never felt more confident than at those months. the friends i made st johns were for keeps, Lionel being one of them! :-) it was the most amazing 2 months ever la.
then i went to INTEC. i didnt exactly think much about my weight then, i just kinda accepted i was plum, though some comments about how i was fat hurt me (from Ganesh, even something Shen-Han told wee loon once)... but i never actually let it get to me, i guess i was still riding high on the amazing months after form 5!:-)
then after INTEC, i broke up with my ex. what i went through made me drop pounds without even realising it! i took quite a number of photos before i left for Dublin, and i really liked how i looked then! so i left for Dublin not exactly the top form emotionally, but definitely still confident.
In Dublin, the trouble started.
i went through quite a lot. i never minded what i ate, so i ignorantly, kept up that attitude in Dublin. i used to binge and finish one whole loaf of bread, eventhough i had already eaten lunch! i'd store packets of chocolate chip cookies, tesco chocolate wafers, cadbury chocolates and at night when i was alone in the room, i'd chomp down on them! 
even when i realised i was gaining weight, i'd still gobble them all down! it was so scary that i could actually tell myself not to eat, but when i was alone at night, it was like someone took over my body and i just couldn't control it, and i'd eat and only stop when the packet was empty! it didnt help that Dunnes carried one euro biscuits! 
just before i left to go see ei leen in London, i weighed myself in Frances' apartment and i was a whooping 6*kgs! i was scared, i was as heavy as i was in high school! even my pants didnt fit anymore. i had to squeeze myself into slacks with fat bulging out, and i even bought a new pair of pants from gap when i was in London. i didnt know what to do, so i tried to shed the pounds on holiday but anyone with logical thinking would know that's virtually impossible. i returned to dublin looking like a whale. or an elephant. hehe whichever is more ghastly! i went to the rcsi ball looking like a huge whale! even then, i went though an emotional turmoil (loads of issues sent me into depression) and continue chomping down pizzas, cream of mushroom and garlic bread during study breaks!
when i returned home, my mom had the shock of her life!
(eugene took this pic on an outing just before i came home)i didnt really watch what i ate during that summer, but i went swimming with my mom and the pound dropped. but very slowly. emotionally, i was still a wreck. i refused to see my old school friends for a month when i came back. :-) but i think either they remember what i looked like in high school, or they're just real dolls. they didnt poke fun at me, or even laugh. i went to KLCC with Lorraine and we even got a free ice cream waffle! :-) so my confidence was undergoing repair, after all the abuse it had undergone in Dublin. i was hurt, and i ate to cover the hurt. that led to almost non-existent self esteem. and there really wasn't anyone i could turn to for help. Nal was going through her beloved grandfather's passing, and i knew if i were to tell my mom, it'd only worry her, and i really didnt want that when i was so far away. but being home, was amazing! :-) i was still fat, but like before it didnt bother me and i gained a little confidence.
when i returned to dublin during my 2nd year, i had lost a bulk of the weight i had gained, btu i was still big. so i hit the gym, and first prof really drained me. i hardly had time to eat. i was shedding the weight and i was beginning to regain esteem.
Christmas that year, i came back. Dublin has only been associated with depression for me. i dont recall ever being happy in dublin. i couldn't take the stress i was under, so i came home for christmas. i was happy at home.
but when i had to return to dublin for my First Profs, my mom understood the stress i was under, so she came to visit me. and it really really helped me alot! when Beaumont started, ppl used to talk about my having an eating disorder cause i wasnt eating right. when i was bingeing and putting on weight, no one thought to tell me (except my best friend EiLeen who warned me when i first sent her photos of Dublin). but now that i was on the other side of the spectrum, losing weight, they decide to be concerned. Nal lost a lot of weight and she's really more confident and happy with herself now. they talked more about her. and she's right when she said these ppl weren't bothered when she was plump and not eating. but now that she was losing weight, they started talking. but there's more to it than just losing weight. i know of ppl who are blessed with high metabolisms, like my college friend, WaiQuen! :-) she's very lucky in that she can just eat whatever she wants and not put on an ounce of fat.
i didnt let it get to me. as i was shedding the pounds, i was gaining my confidence. no one knows what i went through. the emotional roller coaster and the absence of confidence. it's like people are just waiting for you to put on weight, so that they can shake their heads, laugh inside(some would just not care and laugh outwardly), and perhaps feel good about themselves. while i'd like to be able to help ppl maintain their self esteem, this time i'm going to be selfish and think about my own self confidence! believe me when i say i'd like to be able to not care about what i eat, but i've been where it's dark, when i just eat and eat without any self control. and i hated feeling like what i did at that time.
I'm in the prime of my life (or maybe slightly past it la...), and soon wrinkles and grey hair will start to plague me. i could even have kids and say bye to ever being of nice shape. :-) i'll never regain my youth, and while i hope to grow old gracefully, very few are blessed with that advantage. my sister bought me two seasons of One Tree Hill, and i think it's a very good show. not only for the plot, or the hot chad michael murray, but cause the girls are not stick thin but still stunning. it motivates me to achieving a realistic and healthy goal, and promotes a very very healthy body image. i know i dont wanna be huge, but i also need the correct guidance to know when thin is too thin. 
when we go through something very very difficult, or get hurt, we retaliate by taking measures to ensure that never happens again. it's human nature. from dublin, i've learnt to never simply trust ppl, cause i got hurt. and i've learnt i never wanna have to gorge and be fat unnecessarily, and have no self esteem. it's avoidable. it's an awful place to be in. some ppl are naturally satisfied with how they look and i'm not advocating that big ppl can't be confident. but personally, i know i just don't have the innate inner self confidence to pull that off, or enough good friends around me to help me proud of myself even when i'm a whale. it's not something i'm ready or equipped to deal with. i know i'm not starving myself. i guess the message i'm trying to put across is that i can kinda get how one could become anorexic, especially perfectionists. they expect perfection from themselves in every aspect, if possible. i'm not condoning it, but let's just say, i'm more emphatic to their plight now... and i know now, more than ever, we can't judge ppl, cause no one really knows the whole story, the complete truth. so dont be so quick to play jury. concern for a friend is a whole other issue, of course. but before talking about ppl, be honest with yourself, is it really true genuine concern?
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